Monday, August 24, 2009

What on Earth?

What on Earth was the Great Creator (or Creators) thinking??

I ask you ....

What earthly purpose do ants serve?  They swarm, they trample, they bite, they itch, they step in all kinds of yuck before walking all over my food and kitchen surfaces - likewise for lizards/geckos.

Cockroaches are even worse - they not only do all of the above, but they look hideous too.  They have far too many legs and bits hanging off their heads, they are  the colour of excrement and they wait until the kitchen has been cleaned (or the bathroom) before they make their grand entrance.  They also won't lie down and die when you spray the living daylights out of them.  They roll over, squirm, wriggle, bicycle their umpteen legs until you empty half a can of spray on one little bugger!  Then they have to decency to drop dead!

Okay and then my personal dis-favourite - Mosquitoes.  Why are they here?  They bite us, irritate us,  make us itch, bleed, put their yucky saliva under our skin, buzz in our ears, and they are the silent marauders.  Just as you slip into the deepest sleep - the little buggers strike!  SWAT Commando teams and Navy Seals have a lot to learn!  They are in, bite, suck and out before you have come up through seven layers of dreams!  I know that I then spend the rest of the night (unless by some stroke of luck I manage to splat the little bugger first attempt) looking out for them, checking on My darling, Nikh and The Ray to make sure they are not attacking them and generally getting more and more irritable and aggravated by the second!  The best ones are when they manage to suck all the blood out of your eyelid - you wake up unable to open your eye and you look like an evil alien just landed from the worst sort of sci-fi flick!  You scare young children, and even fully grown adults can be seen running screaming when they catch sight of you!  Try scratching your eyelid - not easy!!

Okay - you may think I am exaggerating slightly - but at 3am (I know I am usually awake, but last night I was deeply asleep!! - Double Whammy!!) when you can barely focus beyond a squint, the last thing you want to be doing is stalking flying commanado blood suckers who are better at camouflage than most of the world's trained armies!  Thank goodness for teh elctric swat bat - but try killing a mosquito sitting on My Darling's leg, he is snoring and I am armed!!  Not good for a happy marriage!!

I need to know that they serve a purpose, then maybe I won't hate them so much!  I realised why I like being away from Chennai on holiday so much - no mozzies!  No constant scanning from side to side when we are in the car, on the street, in the shops, at the cinema, in a restaurant, by the pool, in the garden ... in fact pretty much everywhere!  Also - no Mozzie spray on our skin - allllllll the time!  I feel a little demented sometimes!

We don't usually have any of these infestations - I think they are here to welcome us back, with a vengeance!  I noticed that all the A/C's in the house have been serviced etc - well, they have not fitted them backinto their holes properly - easy access for the entire zoo listed above!  I am trying to buy duct tape here - if not, I am going to have to get inventive with masking tape!!

Well, rant and rave over - I am off to smoke out the entire house with anti mosquito incense cones - they work a treat. 

2 comments:

The Green Family said...

Sejal, you are too funny! Great write up on these nasty little critters! It has been too cold here for mozzies!

Unknown said...

Miss your blog posts!

Danie