Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Fourteen and counting!

Here we are - fourteen years on.  It is our wedding anniversary again!  I think I said it all last year in 'unlucky for some' and I can't really add much to it!

We are still in Chennai but My Darling is travelling far more than he used to.  Most times he whips round the globe and tries to be back within a couple of weeks.  More recently it is taking a little longer!  I find that I still don't like to be without him.  Yes, the kids go to bed earlier.  Yes, I don't have to cook full meals for him.  Yes, we are a lot more relaxed about what time we come home from school and tend to linger longer and longer each day!  Yes, there is no-one mucking up the entire bed, turning over with Richter Scale rumpling and no- one snoring on my right!  But there is also no-one for me to tangle my legs with, no one to talk to in the quiet of the night, no-one to share my thoguhts and feelings with and no-one to depend upon when I hear funny noises (and in India, trust me there are many, many funny noises) in the rest of the house in the dead of night!

I find I sleep with my senses on alert, my cell phone on silent and the land line by my bed.  It is at times like this I think about how much he changed me and changed my life by sharing it with me.  Will I ever be the same again! 

There we were, he born in Bombay, India, me born in Kampala, Unganda.  He moving from city to city, me moving from country to country (Uganda to Kenya to England).  We spent time together in his summer holidays, as kids, in London. His family came there in May.  We tolerated each other, endured enforced time spent together (our parents were/are good friends).  We were defintiely not too keen on each other!

Years later, he returned to England as a grown man, took me out once (at my Dad's request for an escort to an event in the centre of town!); brought me home late at night, firing questions all the way back.  Proposed to me over the phone the next day (on my Dad's phone bill, I might add!!) and scared me to death!  Persisted and pestered by showing up at my classroom, helping out with the PE lessons, turning up unexpectedly to take me out to lunch or dinner, showing up on the doorstep at 6am on my birthday with an entire brand new outfit for me to wear and  the car boot full of red roses and lots of birthday cards!  Constantly surprising me and keeping me off balance!  Eventually, I gave in!!

Here we are nineteen years (add in a five year engagement!), two kids, five houses, too many cars to count and two countries and umpteen flights to many destinations later - still enjoying each other's company.  Still choosing to be with one another.  Still writing the intricate story that is our life together.  Still giggling together till we cry (much to Nikh's embarrassed disgust!!).  Still rough and tumbling with and without the kids.  Still looking forward and backward at our lives together.  He still teases me mercilessly. Still keeps me in the dark about everything until he is ready to spill the news!  Still tries to make most of the decisions (operative word there is 'tries'!!)  Still walks slowly when I am in a rush and speeds along when I am meandering!  Still holds my hand in public and in private, no matter which country, which city, which day, which hour!

Goodness knows why we fit the way we do... so very different! He is a neat freak, I don't really notice the mess till I trip up on it!  He knows exactly what he wants and will not settle for less, I am pretty easy going and will compromise!  He is all about getting the best - equipment, tv, music system, car etc.  I am all about getting what we can afford and getting a good deal!  He sees the massive, globally big picture with the details already added, I see a vision and try to make it a reality!  He reads one book at a time until it is finished, I have between four and eight books on the go (in the car, in the bathroom, in my handbag, in the bedroom etc) and dip in and out of each one until I finish them all at once.  He is pragmatic, I am romantic.  He is a realist, I am an idealist. he is a do-er, I am a dreamer!  And yet our principles, our beliefs, our ideals, so much the same!  Our fierce,touchpaper tempers, our intense love for our children, our love of music, theatre, good bargains, great deals and memorable trips, so much the same!  Our love and loyalty for our friends, old, new and the forever kind, our need to do what we can to help someone, our attempts to maintain and nurture friendships in spite of time zones and geography, so much the same.

I am just waiting for Friday to start writing a new chapter.... together!