ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - or lack of!

I wonder what it is that makes me wake up after I have gone into the deepest sleep? I have nothing to think about, nothing to worry about and absolutely nothing to stress about - and yet I am awake at nearly 1am .... again!

Admittedly things are not going swimmingly at The Ray's main play place, and the sheer helplessness I feel about the goings on there are creating a knot in my tummy. But I know I have viable options should it all go to hell in a hand basket - and I am a believer in things being meant to be....

I miss my mum and dad and the Angel. I miss Lisa, Jen, Danie, Marcela, Ania, Asha, Patty, Aisling, Jane, and others too numerous to mention. I miss being able to go to the mall and just walk, walk, walk and then stop for a Starbucks hot choc with tonnes of whipped cream on top! I miss driving myself to the shops or to the club - I miss playing tennis everyday (or as often as!).

I feel so grateful that friends enter my life with such ease and I feel like a real Meany to still be yearning for those who have moved onwards and around the world-wards! But yearn I do! Does this needing and wanting and missing ever fade, I wonder?

I have been trying to wear myself out - I bounce! Yup literally bounce on an adult trampoline that sits just behind the sofa in the sitting room - so I can watch TV or listen to music etc with no-one turning back to look at me! OK this does not always work out when Nikh or The Ray try to join me! Chaos ensues! I have lost one one single gramme of weight - but I will continue my Tigger impression because I feel as though it is making a difference .. not that you can tell!!