Me, me, me!

I have noticed recently that people think what they read on a blog entitles them to think they know a person and entitles them to comment, complain and pass judgement.

 A girlfriend has been subject to all kinds of comments and conjecture because people read her blog. Her blog is downright straight forward.  No beating around the bush and a welcome change from all the political correctness that invades our World.  This is why I read every post she puts up and why I tell her what I think of her posts directly to her face. 

I think I would like to put a couple of things straight here - blogs (in my eyes) are a kind of diary.  As a child, I used to write what I thought and what I felt about things happening in my life in a book and then hide it under my mattress.  I found that while I had mulled over the events in the process of jotting it down, I still had the jubilation, the anger, the anxiety, the joy and the humiliations inside me.  Now that I post blogs, I do the same things as I did in my journal - I just tamp it down a little because I know that I am not the only one seeing my words!  It does make one feel a little open and vulnerable!

I use my blog as a way of venting, sharing, celebrating and updating my family and friends who may be thousands of miles away.  I use it as a means of communication - I do not ask anyone to actually read it, but the fact that I have shared how I feel,  what we have done or the way I look at something satisfies an urge within me.  I use it as a log of the journey of my life - sharing how we grow and change as a family.

This is the crux of the matter - it is MINE.  it is how I feel and it is what affects, bothers, excites or angers ME.  My views, My forum. What I write is of little interest to the vast majority of the world.  I know that!

I am happy when people read and comment - and it has been interesting to see that people I don't even know comment when they have read about a concert or a play and they happened to be in the same auditorium.  It was also a little scary to think people who know nothing about me, who are strangers are reading about my thoughts and actions.  I am less happy when people who claim to have some sort of knowledge about me try to post anonymous comments that are negative and derogatory.  No-one asks them to come onto my personal space and share.  They are welcome to vanish into the larger abyss of unknown, unwanted opinion. They do not have to read what I write. They have not the courage of their convictions to allow a response to their malice, but feel mighty behind their cowardly anonymity.  Obviously this is how they deal with their life. Not my problem.  I know who and what I am.  I know that sometimes what I say and do comes across in a way I didn't mean it to or expect it to.  I am strong enough to apologise when I am wrong, and I am humble enough to know that I am not the bees knees.  Just a cog in a giant, giant wheel.

Today's post was going to be a sharing of my views on how some people always step up and offer to help.  How they more than offer... they follow through and DO whatever it takes, however long it takes to get the job done. I have been witnessing a couple of friends over the last couple of weeks, and their dedication to get things done.  Their kids may not even be involved, except that they go to our school, but they show their commitment and their community spirit by volunteering, by taking on tasks that everyone is happy to criticise or comment upon, but not willing to put their money where their mouth is - in other words, when push comes to shove they vanish into the woodwork! (Sorry too many cliches in one sentence!) Where are the people with the huge great opinions on other peoples' lives when the chips are down and their help or contribution is needed....?  We can but wonder!

But I got side-tracked!!

Arrogant Asses

Yeah, Yeah.  I know.  Not nice to start with such a tone!  But you know, some people are small minded, arrogant, xenophobic, racist bums.

I have always been of the opinion that  Nikh's school is one of the few schools I have seen where bullying (not a big issue anyway) did not focus on race or ethnicity.  The Head of School has succeeded in creating a community feeling, where everyone feels they belong.  Our PTA has been a major contributor to the 'inclusion' policy and I have seen for myself that Nikh does not see people int erms of colour, language, race or country of origin - he sees friends.  I love that about his school.  Truly creating Global Citizens of the future.

You can imagine my shock last week to hear a parent stand up and claim that the host culture was less than hers, that she was so arrogant as to assume she was better than everyone else, and to top it off, in her ignorance she insulted a major Hindu God.  The woman is a danger and a menace.  She is full of herself.   Her attitude is one of intolerance and clearly she is not a happy person.  But she does like to share her misery.

I find I am alternating between sadness that one woman can create a rift between several communities, that one person (not a nice person) has the power to segregate and cause division, and absolute frustration and fury that she gets to continue on her merry way.

Ladies Who Lunch

I found out today that handing over the baton of voluntary PTA leadership comes with a massive amount of relief, reluctance and rejoicing!

Relief because a massive amount of time suddenly becomes free and not tied up with meetings, minutes, newsletters and a couple of nightmare people.
Relief because I don't need to meet deadlines anymore, I don't need to feel frustrated at the nightmares (during the day and the night!) that I could not eject, reject or suppress.

Reluctance because it was a pleasure organising and creating and working with such wonderful teachers and parents (except for the couple of nightmares!!) and students.
Reluctance because I have pride in the position and know I can do more with it (without the nightmares involved) and would have perhaps, maybe, possibly liked to do another year and continue with the plan.

Rejoicing because I had made it my mission to try and involve as many people as I could and to try and make the PTA seem more like a massive fun factory (than a clique-y group of snotty women out to exclude the rest), and I think I managed that as every position on the new committee had a volunteer stepping up who thought they can easily do the job - many of them new parents. I was so happy.
Rejoicing also because my days are my own, the thought of constantly bearing the responsibility of selling stuff, planning stuff, organising stuff, posting stuff, saying stuff, buffering against stuff, is exhausting and now it is lifted.

So instead, a select group took me out for lunch to celebrate my liberation and to share in all the emotions that come along with watching a friend who has suffered and succeeded and suffered and succeeded. Thank God for good friends.

We decided today that being Ladies who Lunch was clearly the way to go. It may end up being the weight that doesn't go, and the cash that flows, but it would be so much fun!

I told my Darling that he should be careful what he wished for - he wanted me to quit being anywhere near the nightmares (both kinds) and to think more of myself and no-one else. I told him that now I was FREE, I could go out all the time and sit in his office with him the rest of the time. Even from Chicago (on skype) his face drained of colour as the reality of what he has insisted I do hit him HARD!!!

Nikh and The Ray have suffered over the past year - neglect, absence, impatience, irritation ... each time I was knee deep in yet another project or newsletter they were brushed aside. Each time the nightmares grew more vitriolic and virulent they suffered the fallout of my frustration.

NO MORE!

My family comes first - the nightmares can no longer reach me (I am sorry I ever let them) and my friends are still supportive.

A wise woman told me not to listen to the two unfounded critical, malicious voices full of spite, but instead to absorb and surround myself with the compliments and caring, the boost and the enthusiasm of the many positive voices around me. I have finally taken note and begun to practice this preaching.

So let a new day begin .... I am a blank canvass ready to take on new and exciting projects, to create and nurture, to educate and learn.

I am also free for lunch!