Committee Chaos!

I have been meaning to write this post for some time, but because of the committee chaos in my life, time got away from me.

I realised a while ago that I am not capable of saying 'no' without sounding aggressive, petulant and angry.  It is not a skill I have learnt and I would love someone to teach me the way and the words to be able to say this tiny little word which holds so much power without offending and alienating everyone!

I have found since I came to Chennai that people look at me as someone with 'nothing better to do'.  I am a teacher.  I got an honours degree in Education and English, I got my teaching certificate and I taught ... quite well, judging by the fact my colleagues, students and some of their parents are still in touch with me.  I have always been slightly over enthusiatic about anything I get involved in - just ask my kids!  I jump in with both feet and am very quickly up to my ears in whatever project I am on.

This does not mean I flounder half way - although that has been known!  I do try and see things through to the end.  I try to have a goal or product in mind and get things done.  Like the Chennai Chapter, like the New Parent Book, like the various t-shirt projects and like all the Double Decker paraphernalia.  I do work hard. 

That is not to say that I am the only one.  There are many many people working far harder than I and far more effectively.  These people are on committees.  This brings me to my thought for today.  I find my mental and physical being is in total chaos.  Committee Chaos.

Since coming to Chennai I have worked in various capacities on the BCA, the BBSC (committee member and secretary, OWC (chair of Entertainments, Childrens', Book Club, Tiffin, Playgroup, Bookstall, Halloween events, Santa Brunch, Welcome Back lunch etc etc etc), PTA (room parent, committee member, new parent coordinator, elementary coordinator, President, coordinator of many events, general helper!), Double Deckers, Logistics committee, Multicultural Comm, Chennai Chapter, Madras Kids, and many other bits and pieces that I don't even remember now!  I have proof read hundred of different documents, for AISC, GA, SPS etc.,and finally I am now Vice President of the IWA just to add one more straw to this particular camel's back.

I suddenly found that I did not have enough time or energy to even get up in the morning.  I was tired when I woke up and tired all through the day.  My friends being as supportive as they wonderfully are  - put up with my constant mantra of "Gosh, I feel tired".  how much patience and tolerance they must have!  My Darling, who has no trouble saying the 'N' word was less tolerant and far more impatient with the whole scenario! 

As a result, for the first time, I dropped out of a committee.  I stepped down from the Logistics Committee and suddenly felt a bit better.  yesterday, I finally realised how draining some people are.  One friend categorises the people in her life as 'life enhancers'  and I would say the opposite are 'drainers'.  The former help you, lift your spirits and your energy levels, perk up your day, it is not a burden to call them or take their call, to spend time together is not a mutual depression fest. 

The drainers on the other hand are doing just what it says on the box.  they suck out your soul.  They wither away what little positive flow you have and you are left wan and dry.  I have made a concsious decision to stay away from these sorts of people.  It is hard to keep your distance - I think they spot the glow of good health or good energy from a distance and come to seek you out!!  Almost like vampires sense fresh blood in the dead of night! (overly dramatic, I know - but I couldn't help myself!)

well, this all sounds very dramatic - but this is how I feel.

Since starting this post I have resigned from The Overseas Womens Club and stopped running the Tiffin Club (my baby!).  It was a wrench as I have been a part of this organisation since my second or third day in Chennai.  But - I am not here to be used or abused.  I don't know if it is acultural or moral or ethical difference, but some people think they can say or do anything just because they are on a committee somewhere - well let me put that daft notion straight - they can't.  I have to say that I feel lighter and less wound up - and I guess between now and my final departure from Chennai - I will drop a lot more burdens off my shoulders and let someone else take up the slack.