SejalSez

All's Fayre....

2011-12-21T19:22:00.000+05:30

Anyone who has served on a volunteer committee of any kind will know that in the organising of events there is always a lot of love and nearly always some kind of war! Volunteers do what they do for the love of it. Their conviction that they are right and their way is the right way is what gets things done in spite of the myriad other responsibilities on their collective plates. I speak from experience. I have served as a volunteer on some sort of committee or the other since I can remember.

I am Chairman of the PTA at Rhea's school this year. I felt I could make a difference. I hoped I could encourage people who are willing and able to join hands and create a community to do just that. I love to write - so I started to write newsletters and to make plans. The best part of heading up a committee is the getting to know and work with a bunch of incredible people. My committee is brilliant. They each have their strengths, we have a lawyer, a couple of accountants, a couple of people with the history of the PTA and all of them have convictions and commitment. Fab!

We took over in the middle of September and suddenly realised that we had Pizza Lunches to order, a second hand Uniform Sale to organise, several kids sporting fixtures to support with snacks and refreshments and the big event so far... our Christmas Fayre.

Our school does not have a lot of space to spare, but we get by. My Vice Chair is fantastic. She is a whiz on the computer and can create documents that look sooooo professional and sooo enticing! We cover each other perfectly - I like to be creative and whitter on about my ideas and my vision and she likes things to be bullet pointed to the nth degree! So I write long newsletters and she make posters with Christmas baubles highlighting the exciting things coming ahead!

I am not working yet and she works more hours than is physically possible! So I can do the organising and the nitty gritty and she can do the big stuff like the Santa's Grotto we set up in the school gym each year. She leaves me to getting my bits done and I let her run with hers. What a partnership! She ordered the raffle tickets, I distributed them. She organised the first prize and I trudged from store to store to get the long list of exciting extras.

I was always told that getting parents who work full time to help out or to join in would be a job and a half. Let me say up front that this is definitely not the case at Reddiford School. These parents are dedicated, committed and clearly willing to step up to the plate and boy, did they bat a home run for the kids a few weeks ago. We had over a thousand items donated - either new, nearly new or gently used books, toys, bric-a-brac, toiletries etc. Our Bottle Tombola stall had over 400 bottles - absolutely incredible! We had nail painting, face painting, decorating cookies, Christmas arts and crafts stalls, we had a fluffy Frosty the Snowman to win, we had cakes, cookies and mulled wine. We had Starbucks Hot Chocolate with yummy whipped cream squirted all over it! We had a Secret Store where kids had the chance to buy Christmas gifts for their parents (already wrapped and ready to go under the tree!). We had people laughing and joking with each other. We had parents and staff socialising in a informal manner. We had a Willy Wonka Sweet Store with Nerds and Reeses....mmmm! We had mince pies and egg less cakes. We had so much Christmas Cheer and good will, it was something amazing to see. The Gym was packed from the get go. The School Choir sang carols for us and we joined in. The Reddiford Families pulled together and pulled a really cracker out of the hat!

The PTA Class Reps (parents who liaise with their classes) came out in full force. They had their stalls signed up from beginning to end and were flexible enough to jump up and help with the Pizza Stall if needed. There was no whining, no whinging, no nagging and definitely no Bah Humbug! Other parents shot off to wholesalers to grab last minute bargains for Grotto gifts. Others wrapped for all they were worth! My kids and my family always end up helping whether they like it or not! My Darling orders take away meals so I can keep working on the Christmas Fayre, The Ray sparkles as she folds raffle tickets for all she is worth and Nikh spends all his time carrying things back and forth to make sure nothing gets forgotten! What a team

Best of all ... in the whole of the Reddiford Christmas Fayre.... there was a tonne of love and no war whatsoever!

I am beginning to think this could be the start of something good!

home is where the heart is...

2011-12-21T18:49:00.000+05:30

Hi I am Sejal and I have been Chennai-free for nearly a year! Chennai is an addiction.... one I needed to quit. (Although I didn't know I was addicted until I quit!)

We left Chennai in India about ten months ago. I had been preparing for our exit for almost ten years! We had gone there on a short term assignment which became very very long term.

My Darling and I came to Chennai with three suitcases and a three year old. We left Chennai with a twenty foot sea freight container, 18 pieces of baggage, loads of hand luggage, a twelve year old and a five year old. I guess that is what you call value added!

Both kids took the decision to leave in different ways. The Ray wanted to know when she would see her best friends again and Nikh flatly refused to go. He started trying to find a family that would take him in and our many many good good friends obliged without hesitation - thanks a bunch! Made my life that much harder!

Anyway we arrived home (London, that is!), it was still in mainly holiday mode. This was still not reality. As months went by, Nikh, The Ray and I started to realise that this was our new REAL life. My Darling started his travelling again and we had to deal with a new set of issues that could not be solved by maids, cooks and drivers. We had to deal with it all on our own. We did. We survived!

Nikh was still not quite happy. He wanted to go 'home'. I told him he was home. He chose to ignore me! We agreed to VISIT Chennai at Christmas. In the end, I changed the dates as none of us were truly settled and this would be five steps back. Our recovery was dependant on how we dealt with this revisiting of old haunts, old friends and AISC.

We landed in Chennai during the Easter holidays (Spring Break for AISC). It was a bittersweet arrival. It still smelled yucky, the airport was still hot, humid and crowded with disorganised travellers. But it felt like a homecoming! It was familiar and comforting (never thought I would say that in a million years!!) I had made plans with as many of our friends (more like family) were in town and we were booked back to back for the whole of our stay.

We started with brunch at The Park with the usual suspects (!!), moved to meals galore at The Madras Club, Tuscana, Golden Dragon, Bayview Point, Woodlands etc etc and umpteen homes. We had idlys, dosas, tiramisu, Indian Chinese, the freshest fish in the world, dim sum, Thai, Italian, homemade wadas, cheese dosas and so very much more. We did nothing but eat, drink, shop and grow out of our waistbands!

It was an absolute pleasure to spend time with people we love and those who care about us in return! We played water polo in the pool at Fish Cove, cricket on the beach, did one more turtle release and spent so much pleasurable, treasurable time with these wonderful people. We missed some who were on holiday, but will make plans over the next few months. We went back to AISC - so much a part of our lives for so many years. It is changing and growing. It was both hauntingly familiar and strangely unfamiliar. It was lovely to sit and chat with friends just like the old days, with the thoughts of departure held firmly at bay.

Nikh drifted through the school remembering his time at one of the nicest places in Chennai. When he was done, we left. More hugs, kisses and bittersweet tears.

After a final frantic shopping dash, we headed down to Fisherman's Cove where there was one last batch of Olive Ridley Turtles waiting for us to help release them into the ocean. The joy on my kids' faces, the awe and wonder on friends' faces who were doing this for the first time and the pleasure of sharing such a wondrous experience was simply incredible. At the end of a day spent splashing on the beach and in the pool, playing with people we like to be with and eating such delicious fresh fish and chips, we went back to the town centre to pack and prepare to leave.

One last night out again with two charming kids and we were on the home stretch, literally! One last friend to visit us, straight off the plane, out of the airport and to our hotel just to spend an hour together. lots more tears, hugs and kisses and we were off.

As we took off, both kids held on tight. Nikh looked at me with sadness and said, "Chennai will always be a sort of home, won't it?" The Ray insists she is a Chennai-girl as this is her birthplace. And I? I will hold cherished memories of a place that filled me with love, laughter, joy, pain, frustration, heat rash, tears, gallons of alcohol, dozens of mosquito bites, snakes, cockroaches, biting spiders, incredible experiences and so many many lifelong friends... how could I not think of it as a home?

Unpacker's Plight (photos may follow!)

2011-08-02T16:39:00.000+05:30

Dear Packers,

As I now, one year on, start to see the results of your handiwork, I felt the urgent need to write and tell you how I feel. I guess I should do it before I do my Mount Etna impersonation all over my poor family!

Just a few simple thoughts that might help the next poor soul who HAS to go through your clumsy, incompetent hands!
I felt the need to thank you for wrapping my cheap, tatty, stained plastic ware with such utmost care and at least seven layers of thick wrapping for each piece. Thanks also for not bothering with my handmade earthenware - most of which is now chipped or broken and as each set is now incomplete it is completely worthless. I may as well have thrown it out of the window, in Chennai and smashed it to smithereens myself!
Thanks also for wrapping my thin Indian kitchen paper in several loving layers of more paper. I don't know how it would have survived a year in storage without that. I also was most surprised to see a roll of disposable cleaning cloths gently placed in a large box for me to open up twelve months later. Unfortunately what you didn't know was that I brought that roll from the UK to Chennai and had many expat friends who would have willingly kept it there. Ditto the Ziploc bags and heavy black trash bags.
Thank you for wrapping the white Wedgwood service in such a flimsy manner, but for making sure the brightly coloured trashy china was swaddled better than a newborn baby!
I wonder at your reasoning behind bubble wrapping pillows, cushions and blankets. Were you concerned they might get broken? Chipped? Cracked? Or were you mentally deranged? Pity you didn't think the same for my bespoke, handmade terracotta dining table and matching pots... all of which are now crumbling wrecks not the original beautiful items we bought and fell in love with.
I have spent countless hours over the last few weeks shaking my head in wonder and disbelief at your sheer stupidity! I would love to know why you would place glasses one inside the other and wrap with a single sheet of grey paper, when the books, files and Cd's got two layers EACH. Every single glass is chipped or broken. Thanks.
In our new home, we have a double garage - thanks to you we can not even park a bicycle in it. There is a veritable mountain of corrugated card roll, bubble wrap, the intensely poisonous and vile polystyrene, boxes of every size and description and so much paper I could start my own printing works and never have to source paper for twenty years. Have you heard that our planet is suffering and we are trying to reduce, recycle and reuse? Have you been doing an impression of an ostrich for the last ten years or so? Think ECO, think GREEN, think ahead to the poor person who has to unpack your imbecilic wrapping.
Thank you also for making us pay for an additional shipment unit after telling us that all our belongings would not FIT into a 20 foot sea freight container. Had I known then that not only had you over packed EVERYTHING, that you had put in at least ten 'dead' boxes (this means empty - filled with screwed up paper or with nothing at all) but also included other boxes that had the ends of rolls of paper, finished rolls of tape, sweet wrappers, screwed up tissues - obviously used..... (YUCK!) and other litter; I think I would have personally come over and smacked you ALL upside the head..... hard. Perhaps I would have enlisted Dhoni's cricket bat to help me!
Finally thank you for robbing us blind. It was truly incredible (that word means hard to credit in case you have already wrapped my dictionary five times!) that several of our boxes left our home in my presence, went to your warehouse, supposedly were loaded into a sealed container which I witnessed being broken open in London and somehow went missing. Can you explain more fully than the witless "no Madam, it was not our fault"? I am pretty sure you can't. The same way you cannot explain why the insurance you made us take out and pay for exorbitantly somehow has a hundred thousand terms and conditions all of which make it impossible for us to claim a single rupee (never mind a dollar or a pound).
Finally I would just like to say to you, dear, dear packers, that when a close friend suggested in her Blog that your company name should be changed to 'I-LIED' she was right on the button. That is your company name, mission and motto. Congratulations on maintaining that position to the bitter end. I pray daily that we never have to deal with you again.

With deepest regrets,

SejalSez

PS - Thanks for the Diwali card you sent me wishing me a happy new year - clearly you had not seen fit to think of what you had done to my possessions - a happy new year is the furthest thing from my mind!

Fifteen years, fifteen reasons..

2011-03-11T03:33:00.000+05:30

There are many reasons why I love to be married to My Darling.

Here is just one for each year of our marriage!

I love the way he makes me laugh till we both cry and I get cramps in my tummy!

I love the way he makes me feel safe and protected.

I love the twinkle in his eye that tells me he still has the naughty little boy deep inside!

I love the way he swept me off my feet nearly twenty years ago.

I love his curious but wicked sense of humour. He sees humour in things that others miss by a mile.

I love how capable he is and how able.

I love the way he loves Nikh and The Ray, unconditionally and overtly.

I love his confidence and his reserved quality.

I love the way he holds me back at times and lets me fly at times.

I love how he challenges my ideas and tones down my impetuosity.

I love his quiet calm in the face of my frantic fury.

I love that he supports my decisions even if they are not always what he thinks is the best for me.

I love the way he sings slightly off key and a few beats before the words start.

I love that he completes me and with him I feel I can do or be anything.

I just love HIM.... totally and irrevocably..... for the last twenty years and for the next million.

Happy 15th Anniversay, My Darling!

Almost a man, my son

2011-01-16T16:49:00.000+05:30

Thirteen years ago, at 9.46am, on Friday 16th January, our little 6lb 10oz bundle of wrinkly, squalling joy arrived into this World after three and a half hours of intense labour! My Darling, my Mum and the Angel were there. My Dad was on a train trying to get to us as fast as he could! The Angel cut the umbilical cord between my son and me, and sealed a bond between Aunt and nephew that is unbreakable! We named him Nikhil which means 'whole' 'entire' and that is what his was to us - our whole, entire world!

Twelve years ago, Nikh was walking, talking and teething! A mobile, noisy cutie filled with red cheeks and raw gums! He was still the entire centre of our world, still the only child and grandchild! He had started at Teddies Nursery about 7 months earlier, settled right in and was a darling, waking up in the morning, breakfast and playtime, two hour nap, waking up for lunch and playtime, two hour nap, waking up for dinner and see his Da (Daddy), and then bath and bed for nearly twelve hours! I am still surprised that he knows anything about the world as most of the time he was in dreamland! His friends from Teddies are still near and dear - Roan, Spencer, Archie, Holly, Asha, Cara, and many more. The Moan (Simone), Kim, Debbie and others are still dear to us.

Eleven years ago, Nikh was very sick, contracting Broncchial Pneumonia and ending up extremely unwell and being admitted as an emergency to the children's ward. My Darling, my parents and the Angel hovered over him, praying for his safe recovery. We ended up creating a mini family out of the four other tiny patients in the ward. I will never forget thinking how lucky we are when faced with their despair at the terrible prognoses offered for their children. Mine was going to recover (I prayed), theirs were not (I wept). we left the hospital with inhalers and a spacer device. Around the same time, he was diagnosed with a suspected heart murmur and scoliosis (19% curve) of the spine. Our whole, entire world was crumbling and our beautiful baby boy was so unwell.

Ten years ago, we took Nikhil for interviews at the boys private schools and were overjoyed when he was granted admission in all the schools we applied to. Our toddler could write several words, could spell phonetically (a bit!), could count, and add, he could tell you stories from pictures and loved doing construction games! He was on inhalers constantly, sick continually and hardly eating anything. Then we took him to India!

Nine years ago, we were in Chennai, India. The plan was to go with My Darling, settle him into an apartment and then bring Nikh back to London to start his formal schooling. We quickly realised that going to the beach every afternoon and all the fresh sea air and food was doing Nikh a world of good. He soon began using his inhalers less, began to eat regularly. He began to gain some colour and was truly energetic. How could I possibly go back? How could I take him to the cold and wet and damp that was making him so ill? So he started at Kids Central Playschool and made some fantastic friends, Rajwa, Hamza, Baby Amr, Gul, Sanah, Tarsha, Annika and several others. These children were and still are good strong friends.

Eight years ago, Nikh was stronger, brighter and very very happy. We applied to The School, KFI in Adyar, and we passed the parent interview, he passed his and he started there in June. His closest friends went with him, all was right with his world.

Seven years ago, My Darling said that we might go home - so we started the process to transfer Nikh from running barefoot in the sand, hiding under the stairs to find ants in the playground, swinging from a Banyan tree that was 100 years old, leaning Tamil, learning to nurture nature (the school has its own cow - which once ran amok!!), from using chalk and slate or writing on the floor, from eating a full Indian lunch with his fingers to the brand new, hi-tech American International School in Taramani to gain a transition to wearing shoes again, to sitting at desks and using workbooks as the norm, to taking part in several sports. Jeanette Parry was his first teacher there - what an angel - a loving, nurturing teacher who adored him - the feeling was mutual!

Later that year several of his closest friends left Chennai and Nikh had to learn about separation. He had his mummy for a teacher for some time and his other teacher, Kaylynne Matheson, taught Nikhil about self discipline, self motivation and doing your absolute best. She also taught him sign language and how to laugh at himself. She was incredible.

Six years ago, our world was rocked on its axis. The Tsunami hit Chennai HARD. People we knew died, were swept away. We were lucky. The cottage we should have been staying in, at Fisherman's Cove, was hugely damaged and the guest who took our place was injured. Nikh was learning about human tragedy, suffering and endurance on a huge and personal scale. What he saw in the news, what he read in the papers was REAL. Meanwhile, after an ectopic pregnancy and a few miscarriages, we had a baby girl who was a ray of sunshine and our own tsunami! The Ray was wonderful for Nikh as he was allowed to take a day off school in celebration (my rule is that you have to be dead, dying or bleeding to miss school!). On the downside, most of the rest of his 'best' friends left Chennai and Nikh

Five years ago, Nikh started thinking outside of himself. He ran his own bake sale first for the Tsunami victims, and then for Habitat for Humanity and with some clever negotiating, persuaded his Nana to top up his seven thousand rupees to seventy five thousand rupees and raised enough money for the high schoolers at AISC to build an entire extra house! His teacher was utterly brilliant and encouraged him and supported him through it all - Becky Thomas. A talented teacher, creative, musical, artistic, constantly learning, changing, adapting and so full of energy and motivation. A star!

Four years ago, Nikh managed to show that his character is forming nicely. He made friends with a huge influx of kids, he was on the Student council and was offering suggestions to make the school a better place. He was IT student of the year, he got into fights with his closest friends and learning about making up and saying sorry. He joined the Madras Kids and realised what a gift his voice is - pure and clear and with perfect pitch!

Three years ago, he started trying to better himself at his sports, he started setting goals for himself each year. He started practicing the piano more, he took part in another Madras Kids production. He finally understood that each action has a consequence - that distracting himself in class might mean distracting others too. He had one of the most fantastic teachers, Carolynn Fischer. She had a baby and still continued doing the mega job she always had. Her first and last thought was for her class. She used parents to the best advantage to make sure her class go the best and most experiences. In the process, she made other teachers better at their job and made parents appreciate how very very lucky we were to have her teach our children.

Two years ago, Nikh entered the Middle School - his Principal, Michele Dirksen, his counsellor, Trish Joudrey and some of his teachers motivated him. They encouraged him to be self sustaining, to self manage his equipment, his property, his body and his education. They showed him how to be independent. They encouraged him to do his best, to try out for sports teams. The cut him from the team to teach him a much needed lesson. He had to learn to cope with criticism and disappointment. Coaches Sebastian, Kostas and Dirksen taught him that even if they like him, they have to judge on performance and dedication and commitment. His art and music teachers taught him that he can do anything that he sets his mind to. His English and Science teachers taught him that all is not fair in life and you have to deal with stuff. The teachers that took him away for a week without walls showed him through example that there are adults outside of family and friends upon whom he can depend. Who like him for who he is, not for whose son he is.

Last year, Nikh left Chennai. he learnt to cope with emotional trauma on a devastating scale for him. He had to say goodbye to his friends cum surrogate family. He had to go to umpteen 'goodbye' dinners and lunches and realise how loved he was. He had to come to terms with how close he had become to so many different people. He had to come back to his 'home' that really was not a home. He had to reconnect with his friends who have no knowledge of him. His friends Roan and Archie have been fantastic. He has started at a school where there as many kids in his year group as in half the school at AISC! He is now one of many. He is alone, unknown and alien. He has had to learn to yank himself up by his bootstraps, dry his tears and get on with it, in spite of feeling alone and unloved and unwanted. He has taken a few months to make a couple of friends. He has worked hard and had a few shocks at how some children behave in school, how they talk to teachers and how disrespectful they are. It is a credit to AISC that it had not even occurred to him that kids can behave this way! He had to realise that extra lessons in keyboard, vocal coaching, badminton, choir and science were his responsibility. If he didn't make sure he went, no one else was going to! Life lessons! He got his first report card and came third in his year (out of 300 kids). His grades were great. His Head of Year asked him to produce better next time around and he was astounded!!

This year - Nikh has read the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling. He is going to try to live by it.

Now that he is thirteen and almost a man, my son is going to undergo some mega changes. But some things will always stay the same. The love My Darling, The Ray and I have for him. The respect we have for his many talents and the thanks we give each day for his health and good humour!

Happy Birthday Nikh! I love you!
(PS photos posted on Facebook and in a seperate post)

Dreaming in Dubai

2011-01-16T00:24:00.001+05:30

Since living in Chennai, Dubai became our oasis in the desert of muck, grime, germs, bugs, and unruly crowdedness. We loved for the times we could hop on an Emirates jet and fly straight into the arms of clean, sparkling malls; hygienic eateries and relatively few bugs. Since moving home to London, coming to Dubai still holds the same appeal, but not for the same reasons. We LOVE it here, simply LOVE it! We enjoy the peace and quiet - no horns tooting. Wherever we stay is not on any flight path, so no jets overhead. The occasional 'whup-whup' of helicopter blades is not irritating, merely interesting - gives me a chance to make up an imaginary billionaire or dashing Prince heading to some world changing meeting or the other!

We love the crystal clear blue sea (some of it man-made - I agree!) but still gorgeous nonetheless! We love the feel of the breeze - warm in the summer and like today, chilly, in the winter. We love the fountains below the Burj Khalifa. The music and choreography enthrals us relentlessly as we sit on the balcony with a definite bird's eye view! We love the view from 51 storeys above ground - the unique architecture all around us and I defy Nikh to find two buildings that are alike!

We love the feel of the flown-in sand beneath our toes, the divine cooling lemon ice lollies that are dished out by the pool and beach staff to cool you down as you heat yourself up! We love the underwater music system in the pool - easy to swim laps when you are being serenaded with every stroke and splash! We love the cool, wet face cloths offered to ease your burning skin under the scorching sun. We love the ease with which you can move from hotel room to water park and back again when they are all part of the same resort. We love the way the kids are treated - with smiles and understanding.

We love the food - fresh, tasty and scrumptious. We love the Hummus, the Tabbouleh, the Labneh, the Shawarma, the breads, the meat and fish and poultry. We love the variety and the presentation. We love the portions and the speed with which food is prepared and served! We love the fact that fast food, when the Ray is starving, is just that! We love the numerous coffee shops - Caribou, Starbucks, Second Cup, Gloria Jean's and more. We love the choice of ice-cream shops - Baskin Robbins, Haagen-Dasz, Coldstone Creameries and the rest. The fruit and veg are crunchy, crispy, sweet and tasty. The quality is top notch and the colours are myriad.

We love the shopping - albeit a little expensive, window style works fine! Designers vie with high street brands. The outlet mall is wonderful, the Mall of the Emirates, Dubai Mall and Mall on the Marina are wonderful - best part is that you can walk miles and miles and never realise it. Even better - the toilets are constantly cleaned and can be used without fear of dirt and disease!

But above all, we love the down time. We love the time we spend together as a family, talking, walking, laughing, sharing and enjoying. There is negotiation, debate and conversation about where to go next, which film to watch and what to have for the next meal. Arguments are nil, stress, frustration and anger have gone with the wind.

For my dream holiday, or the holiday when I dream all day - Dubai is the top of my pops! I LOVE IT!!

Half Term Hurrah!!

2010-11-01T17:46:00.000+05:30

Those of you who know us well, know that My Darling flies off all over the place and leaves the kids and me to get on with it. This time, he had to go in the middle of their mid term school holidays. This was not good news for anyone - Nikh was playing in a tennis tournament and was not happy that Dad would be missing (Mum is not good enough to coach and cheer!); The Ray was unimpressed and showed him with the expressions on her face that she would not forgive this absence easily (we were all shaking in our shoes!) and I was dreading having to occupy two grouchy kids for nearly a week before school reopened.

In charges my sister, The Angel, in a black Audi and scoops us up from the jaws of despondency. She whisks us off to Kensington and Chelsea in a flurry of Chanel and Donna Karan! There followed a jam packed, event filled few days. The Royal Philharmonic playing the Beatles with Dame Shirley Bassey making a stunning, awe-inspiring appearance; dinner out, breakfast out at chic croissanteries, Kensington Church Kitchens quickly became the breakfast hang out! Westfield mall became the local high street - shops, restaurants and a multiplex cinema a scant five minutes from The Angel's cloud. We took advantage of this and walked for miles in it's climate controlled hallways. We danced with a new game that was being demonstrated, got free samples of Coke Zero, bought a spectacular Diwali gift for our Mum, the children's Nani, and ate our way around the World - Lebanese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Indian, Fish and Chips, French Crepes and Italian gelato. We headed up to the Vue cinema and booked VIP seats for the 3D Alpha and Omega (a little dodgy on the subject matter - all about mating wolves!!) and indulged in very American sweet popcorn.

A few whirlwind, celebrity spotting, days later, we repacked the black steed and galloped back to the suburbs to rejoin our daily grind. School bags at the ready, lunch boxes, water bottles, blazers and ties. We are now in the season of Duffel Coats and woollen hats - more stuff for the kids to lose!

The daily grind hit hard today! We got stuck in traffic this morning after trying to Skype My Darling before school, I almost crashed the new car, forgot to lock it when I walked The Ray into school and narrowly missed a lamp post as I went home. Insult to injury, I slipped on the wet step of the car and almost landed on my face in front of the gardeners!

Have decided that after the Hurrahs of the half term holiday, time for some green tea, curl up on the sofa and only go out when absolutely necessary today! Can't wait for My Darling to come home!

Ciao for now, Chennai

2010-10-21T17:28:00.000+05:30

I know - this one has been a long time coming, but I had to wait until it REALLY hit me! We have left Chennai! We arrived there over nine years ago with a three year old, three suitcases and a three month visit planned for Nikh and myself. My Darling was to stay for a year. We left several weeks ago with a twenty foot sea freight container, twelve suitcases, six carry on baggage, a twelve and a half year old, a five and a half year old and many regrets that we had not seen and done everything we should have!

My Darling was finding that he was travelling abroad for more time than he was with us in Chennai. He would try to cram as many meetings into each trip as (in)humanly possible, often landing in London, racing home to change and for example,heading to Oxford by mid morning. This is not good. It is not safe and it is not healthy. The up side for us was a new shopping list for him to fill each trip, but the downside was a lot of time without him, a lot of 'coping' and a lot of relying on good friends to fill the gap, help out, ferry the kids, and even have us move in when the cockroaches invaded!

AISC - as you may have read in previous posts - the school in Chennai was practically the centre of our universe. We were thoroughly invested as a family. I volunteered and helped in any way possible, ran the Food Committee, a Multicultural Committee, was President of the PTA, worked as a coordinator in the Elementary School before taking on a class of my own; ran Madras Kids, worked on the After School Activities programme, helped with SAISA, organised Bake Sales, Yard Sales and Charity Fairs. And this was not the half of it! Nikh trained for different teams, raised money for the Tsunami Appeal and Habitat for Humanity, took an active role on the Student Council and was even planning to be a Student Ambassador had we stayed on. The Ray had only just started at the school shortly before we left, but she made her mark too - Friday after school picnics were her contribution!

We were very sorry to leave, but we are starting to get bogged down - the Elementary Principal was a complete waste of space - in my opinion. She agreed with the loudest voice, barely attended meetings, treated the competent staff poorly and promoted the incompetent ones. She is gone now! The Middle School Principal was truly the bees knees. She was fantastic - the school's saving grace! The Security Manager was too busy 'entertaining' nannies and toddlers in his office to bother securing the school. The secretaries and other admin staff were wonderful. The custodial staff - the lowest rung of the ladder were incredible! They worked hard, they worked long and like the admin staff, they supported every single event organised by the PTA and parent body, even when the majority of the faculty did not feel they should. We noticed that teachers in the Middle School were beginning to treat kids as favourites and others as not so favourite. Senior teachers would show full length movies over the course of two or three lessons to make a point that could have been made in a 5 minute clip. Some teachers were shown to be less and less accountable. Some teachers were beginning to take advantage of the fact that children move on regularly as an excuse to NOT do their best. Some teachers need to be forced to retire - NOW! Others need to be made to work forever! On the other hand, there are teachers who do not feel they are teaching enough hours each week, who would love to work harder and who openly state that they would leave this school because of the lack of process, protocol and accountability. In may view those are the ones we need to KEEP!

So as a result, we made the decision to take Nikh away from the school he has been to since he was tiny and bring him home to London to experience the British Curriculum. He got a place in one of the best state schools in Harrow. He is now enjoying, in addition to English, Maths and three sciences, Design and Technology, ICT, French, German, Classics, Religious Education and Philosophy, Drama, Music, Art, PE, Citizenship, Geography, History and he is pulled out of class for Keyboard lessons and vocal coaching. He is also part of the choir which meets at lunchtime and attends Badminton Club which is run by a national champion after school. I feel that AISC needs to broaden it's horizons. It needs to expand the curriculum, to make teachers accountable for what they do and do not teach. To make the pastoral care a priority. The Principals and Head of School need to be more mobile - moving around the school, the classes and 'popping' in all over the place. Don't get me wrong - I love that school.... I just want it to be sooooo much better!

It has not been easy. The Ray is in a private co-ed prep school. Nikh is in a State school. Luckily both are on the same road, about a mile apart! Their holidays are different. Their timings are different. Neither child finds wearing a blazer and tie easy. Neither child is enjoying the constant drizzle of the last month and the frosty mornings of the last week. Both children (and their mother) long for the blazing hot humidity of Chennai.

But for now, I think we are doing the right thing. We still have a long way to go - we need a new house. We have a new car and new cell phones. I need to find a job. We have to work our way through The Ray's first ever winter, and our first real winter in nearly ten years. We have to get over missing our friends every single day. We are finding that notes from friends, texts popping into the phone and skype calls are as essential now that we are 'home' as when we were away.

The worst part for me is feeling like a stranger in my own home town, I spent so much time trying to make people feel comfortable, secure and like they knew Chennai, I am eternally grateful to the old friends and new friends from The Ray's class who are literally taking me under their wing!

Leaving Chennai was really, really tough. It had become home. It had become the centre of our world. It had become everything to us.

So we sai 'Ciao for now, Chennai' you will always be a fond memory, but not a stranger - we will visit and we will stay close! Thanks for the memories and the friends!

Ch..Ch..Ch...Changes

2010-10-21T16:50:00.000+05:30

I am sure there are people who live there who think that Chennai is simply the pits of the Earth! They find the environment dirty, polluted and dank. They hate the people urinating and spitting anywhere and everywhere. They find the traffic is simply too chaotic to bear and they hate that you can't buy a good bottle of wine, or a beer, with your meal at every restaurant.

Well, speaking as the grandma in the corner, clutching a stiff drink and sucking on my false teeth, let me tell you about the good old days!!

When we came to Chennai, ALL those years ago, there were many things not available or not built that the ex-pats who choose Chennai now take for granted.
The long life sterilised milk, for example, both the full fat and the skimmed version did not exist. Many of us spent time boiling and straining milk to make it palatable for us and our children.
Eggs came in one variety - warm, covered in feathers and bird poo, and in a plastic bag, so mostly broken by the time you got home!

Yoghurt - set yoghurt was not available, again, I would warm milk, add a starter and leave over night to make the plain curd for the next day's meals and buttermilk. Rinse and repeat!

Imported vegetables and fruit - very, very scarce, few and far between and you only got them if the shop keeper knew and liked you, so saved them for you; or if you were in the right place at the right time!

Restaurants and hotels - there was the Park Sheraton, the GRT Grand, Fish Cove, the Connemara and the Coromandel available to us as 'safe' places to eat and drink - no Marriott, no Hilton, no Park, no Taj Mount Road and certainly no Azulhia, Tuscana, Italia, Anokhi, Sandy's, Cream Centre, Mocha, etc etc etc - no nightclubs except for one in the Park Sheraton which was mostly a dive! Now there are new places opening daily offering food, drink and variety galore - whoopee!!

Schools - AISC was there, but based in an office building and a cultural centre in the middle of a busy street - no facilities to speak of and small, small classes. I think there were 150 or so kids when we first arrived. So we chose an Indian pre-school and followed up with LKG/UKG at the KFI (The School - Krishnamurti Foundation). A lovely philosophy, a nurturing, caring place except that the toilets were holes in the floor - eeeeuw!! Nikh got used to it, but I could not cope! eventually under the idea that we would soon be leaving Chennai, we moved Nikh to the American International School. The school was compact and more like an extended family - we instantly made fast friends and fell in love with the whole shebang! The PTA was involved and active, the parent body joined in almost everything, the teachers and faculty leaders were enthusiastic and energetic (on the whole!!) and we fitted right in! I was offered a job, Nikh settled down perfectly - utterly brilliant class teachers for the first three years - KG, Grade 1, skip Grade 2 as a write off and a simply incredible Grade 3. By now we were invested as a family and we had The Ray - our Chennai-born addition to our family!

As Nikh moved up the school, other establishments opened up, offered expat curriculi (is that a word?!) and tried to match the facilities. They called themselves 'international', 'American' 'British', 'German' etc. Truth was - none of them was really real! We were in the best choice for our child.

Now - pre-schools are expanding and calling themselves full blown schools, new schools and pre-schools open regularly, children's centres offer play areas, coffee and classes - the main issue is that there is no regulatory body for all these operations - AISC is fully accredited and can be held accountable. To whom do the others answer?

Shopping in general - department stores have opened (Ebony, Lifestyle, Westside) and some have closed too. They were not what we were used to - no service, people pushing and shoving because they found the orderly layout too difficult! Many of the items on sale could be found cheaper at Parry's Corner or in T-Nagar. But they had a few items that you couldn't find anywhere else - I once found an ice pack for bumped heads in the shape of Spiderman's head - it is brilliant - I still have it after nine years!
Parry's corner is an experience. I seem to recall having to go at least once a year to ensure that I had enough stuff for Halloween, Christmas and birthday parties. T-Nagar, Pondy bazaar, the fish market etc - all great adventures!

But you know - in all the time we lived there - a few things never changed - the friends we made, both local people who will still be there when we go back to Chennai in 10 years time, and the expat friends who have passed through the city like a breath of fresh air - both sets of friends are good, strong and loved. Another thing that remained the same in all our years was the phenomenal way we were treated in the hotels, restaurants and most of the shops. People are friendly, welcoming and mostly want to help you.

In my view this far out weighs the cheating maids, the staff who rob you blind, the constant asking for money from beggars on the street to your employees who earn substantial salaries. The people who have become interwoven in the rich tapestry of our lives totally make up for the Madras Eye, the mosquito bites, the stream of viruses that seemed to be a continual drone! These friends cum extended family - many of whom we travel great distances to see and be near are for life. Things in Chennai continue to change!

Jump back in time - part two!

2010-06-08T00:37:00.000+05:30

So now that Priya is ancient history, we can move on to her replacement. I have an inkling by now that we may not be staying on in India for too much longer and I have started to lose interest in the whole thing! Bad news! I hired a maid apathetically. I ignored my gut instinct and took her on in spite of the fact I suspected she was arrogant, unafraid and bolshy. I turned out to be right, unfortunately.

she started working the day of The Ray's party and simply carried on from there. Her cooking was not great - in fact it was not even good! Her cleaning, although fast as lightening, was not thorough or hygienic. Her ironing, although fast as lightening, was not crease free or smooth - are you seeing a pattern here? Yes she worked like the clappers, but the work was slap-dash and sub standard. I started getting her to clean and prepare ingredients and then I cooked them to make them edible. A waste of time and money having her around if I am doing the majority of the work myself.

She had a couple of warnings, she tried to change. What is that old saying about leopards and spots??!!

I tolerated and endured for a another few months, gladly running off on holiday just to avoid having to see this woman in my house all day. the reason for not throwing her out - I have six weeks left in Chennai at this point - I need to grin and bear it.... or at least just bear it!

In the end even that was not possible. I had a spate of health issues - I broke my toe, I needed a biopsy done and I fractured a couple of ribs (long stories all of them!). You would think that having a maid in the house would make life a little easier right? Wrong! The woman chooses this time (hottest time in Chennai, traditionally used for visiting the 'native place') to abscond and absent herself from work. She asked for a day or two as her daughter (14yrs) has kidney stones and needs surgery. Liar! She returned on the third day after ignoring or cutting calls from the driver and me repeatedly. Surprise! She popped in to show what a good worker she is - I came home from school at 9am to find the house almost completely spotless! She was racing around like a headless chicken to clean, clear and iron. Then came the stinger - she wanted a 'loan' of Rs50,000 - just like that! I refused, she said the office guys told her that if I said yes - they would authorise the load, Liar! She told me she needed it for laser surgery for the girl. Liar! She told me she would take the girl to her mother or her mother in law and come right back. Liar! She was gone for three weeks, and my friends (thank God for them) looked after my family and me. They made meals, sat with me, took me to the hospitals, helped me dress and undress and made sure my kids were taken to school and brought back each day, we were fed and watered and that I followed instructions to the letter. Good Friends - in fact - THE BEST!

The best part of the story is the outlandish list of excuses we were presented with both during and after she chose to return to work. Here is a meaty selection - she had heart bypass surgery - Liar! She had heart surgery and the stitches in her heart have become loose - Liar! She had heart surgery but she will come back to work tomorrow. she is fine - Liar! She had a baby but the baby had to be taken out of her - Liar! She eventually came back to work, found out she had missed a vital newsflash of our imminent departure and then tried to make me thing that PYT (who came to visit with her baby etc) was robbing me blind - Liar!

What makes me mad as hell was the fact that she thought that if we are leaving - she has the RIGHT to anything and everything in my house, whether I want her to have it or not. She tried hard to make me give everything to her - but in the end, her greed and stupidity and her deceitfulness were her downfall. Good riddance!!

Jump back in time - part one!

2010-06-08T00:16:00.000+05:30

January 31st - As of 6.20 this morning - Priya is NO MORE!! Priya is/was the cook, ironing lady and The Ray person in this house. She babysat when I needed and generally ran the house when I am out. She took in gas deliveries, water deliveries, dealt with the a/c man, electrian and plumber, ordered and paid for the meat etc etc.

She also cleaned the fruit and veg for me and cooked some food for the kids. The food tasted quite good and the kids were getting used to her.

But - and here is the BIG problem - why do maids feel the need to bring their outside work problems to work? She has problems at home - all which involve her either leaving work early (usually on a day when the ironing is stacked to the ceiling) or not coming in at all - again on a day when I have plans!! She calls in sick with alarming frequency - but she is not sick at all - her mother is a demanding harridan. And this final thing - fighting and brawling in the street with another maid like a pair of wild animals.

On the day of the Charity Fair - again a day when I actually NEED the woman, she chooses to stop and have a cat fight with a maid from down the road. They are separated by some drivers who witnessed the incident and then encouraged to go to the Police. I would not care what is happening, except that I had left the house at 6.30am for school to set up the fair (with Nikh in tow) and have moved into PTA mode with a vengeance. I had left clear instructions with both the driver and the maid about the schedule for the day - starting with Priya bringing The Ray to the school and supervising her until My Darling managed to leave his office (yes he works on a Saturday too!) and then enjoying the rest of the day with the family and hopefully spotting other maids that she knows and having a fun day.

Nah - too bloody simple - revised plan - fight on the way to work, spend the rest of the day at the Police station and pay over Rs1000 for wasting police time,come and pester me (with her crazy mother in tow) at 6pm when I was trying to leave for a Mexican Fiesta party and try to get some money and sympathy out of me. Me - I slog at the charity fair all day, My Darling has The Ray until good friends snap her up and My Darling can go back to work!

She thought she held the winning hand - The Ray has her birthday party coming up - 70 or so people in the garden - catered and entertained by your truly. So she thinks I need her for all the work to come in the next couple of days. Boy, is she WRONG!!

So she shows up to work the next day - after the mother has screamed and yelled at people on the way to work, outside our gate etc. She says she cannot possibly allow her pure, innocent girl to come to work alone when clearly our driver is a menace to her and I am not caring for her. In fact she accused me of keeping her at work till all hours every single day. Those who know me also know that I send the staff on their merry way well before closing time on many, many days. To be sent home mid afternoon is not unusual. The million dollar question is - where was sweet, innocent Priya going between 2pm and 12 midnight, and then claiming that I kept her late at work and would not pay her overtime!!??? again - not my problem. I told Priya that her mother would not be allowed inside my house even if she insisted on following her to work. They also came four hours late because the old bat could not walk very fast. She stood at my gate hurling abuse at anyone and everyone until I had to tell her to stand outside the gate or I would call the Police!

Things were not looking so pretty! Ultimatum time - either come to work sans harridan mother or don't come to work anymore. Priya called and said she would come to work and live with us (not an option!!) and her brother called and said she would not be coming to work anymore because I do not protect her well enough!! I said goodbye! HUGE SIGH of RELIEF!

The next couple of days passed in Bliss, bliss bliss! Until I realised that we have a party to put on!! At last count I have 49 kids, 6 babies/toddlers and unknown numbers of adults. all very welcome, but all are gonna have to take it as it comes. the cakes are in the oven as we speak. the cookies will be baked tomorrow, sandwiches made on Saturday morning; jelly pots made tomorrow and pasta, samosas, hummus etc on Saturday. I have no trouble doing it all myself. I just wish I had had some notice of all the impending doom and gloom - I may have made slightly different plans - but probably not!

I called my old maid Amudha, I called my friends maid, Sarah, I brought in Amu's friend Eswari (who was Priya's potential replacement) and I had two maids from My Darling's office to generally clean and check the bathrooms all day. A veritable army of help! Amu has always been diligent, and works hard though not always with good initiative! But she was an able, trustworthy body in my kitchen while I was down in the garden. There was a plethora of activities for the kids to enjoy - cutting, sticking, Bollywood dancing, gluing, colouring etc. My many friends stepped int o run activities for me; My Darling was in charge of photos and food distribution and I managed the whole shebang!

Upshot - thank goodness it all worked out. I had my driver supervise the million maids and make sure all right stuff came down at the right time, make sure the samosas were picked up, the safe ice was in plentiful supp;y and that all the drivers of our guests had tea and snacks through the party time. He did a damn good job! the kids seemed to have a blast, The Ray loved her shark cake, though some faint hearted souls were scared stiff! The photos turned out well, thanks to another friend running around with my camera. And I collapsed in a heap at the end of the day unable to budge for 48 hours!

Team Birthday Party in Action - job well done!

Bowled Over!

2010-04-07T23:49:00.000+05:30

Last evening, My Darling persuaded (nay ordered) me to get dinner, homework etc sorted out early as we were going to 'the cricket'. Anyone who has been in India more than five minutes knows that Cricket is one of the most important parts (or 'time pass' if you are in Chennai - used in a sentence: "cricket is a good time pass for children"!) of daily life. In fact it is significantly more important than daily life as all activities come to a virtual standstill if India is playing... or worse still, with the advent of the IPL Twenty20, if the Chennai SuperKings team is playing.

I need to get something very straight here - my idea of a good time is definitely NOT being touched, pushed and shoved around in a crowd of the local people. I do not want to queue outside a stadium, only to find that the 'queue' never moves because of the number of people cutting in at the front. I do not want to raise my blood pressure or my hand because complete strangers feel it is their right to touch my daughter's face. I do not want to go somewhere in order to have a fight (hopefully only verbal), to get angry and to (God forbid) lose one or both of my children in the teeming crowds. Not my idea of a good time. No No No! I even hate going to the malls here for the same reasons. I go alone, or with My Darling on a weekday morning when we know that most of the rest of the city is at work, school or home. Much easier on everyone!

My idea of a good time is either to stay home, go to a friend's house, go to a restaurant or hotel where I know we will be treated well and in a clean and hygeinic environment and above all - the toilets are user friendly! So Madras Cricket Stadium does not make the list of my top million favourite things to do in Chennai, never mind the top ten in my Chennai Champion list!

I begged, cajoled, pleaded and demanded to be let off this one very, very onerous and odious excursion. To no avail. My Darling was determined to make sure that the kids and I got to at least one cricket match before we exit stage left. Eventually I gave in very ungracefully and got myself organised to go - hand sanitizer, wet wipes, tissues, phone, camera and some money in my pocket. Oh and another bottle of hand wash in case we used up the first one!

We had tickets on the Madras Cricket Club Terrace seats. These were the better seats and instead of the hard bleacher style seating, we had individual plastic chairs. We were seated about a dozen or so rows back from the pitch and I have to say that from the moment we got there, I was in awe. I was struck by sights, sounds, few smells and just every sense went on high alert and sensory overload. The crowd around us was well behaved, well mannered, seated (except when everyone jumped up - EVERYtime Chennai Superkings hit the ball!) and for the most part totally engrossed in the action on the field and only there to support the home side.

I was shocked at quite how many people were crammed into the stadium and spent the first five minutes trying to find our nearest fire-emergency exit and realised it was the one that absolutely everyone there would have to use (shock/horror) and ran through several gruesome scenarios in my mind to prepare myself for all eventualities! After that, I forgot about everything except the cricket, the crowd and the cricketeers (as the players are now being addressed!!).

The match was wonderful. Fast paced, full of fumbles, finger-cracking catches and phenomenal bowling. The crowd - well, how do you describe a humungous number of people, showing their love, adulation, admiration and loyalty for 22 men who have proved themselves on the cricket battlefield to be some of the best in the world. Sachin Tendulkar - god of the cricket players, Dhoni - the King, Hayden - the gentle giant, Harbhajan - the long legged bowler, Malinga - incredible! Just to be watching these guys strut their stuff was enough of a thrill. Once they got into the game and started hammering fours and sixes towards our seating area - the intensity and excitement just got bigger and louder! The people in the crowd, both Indian and non, were there for a common purpose - to see the teams in action in real life. They did not disappoint. These guys sweated their guts out - literally. Sachin had to retire for a spell to the dressing rooms to recover from over heating and cramps. He still came back out to support his team in their efforts and to try to finish the game. The Chennai Lions were just on fire, and won by 24 runs. Wahoooo!

My over-riding thought all evening was that if there was some way to harness the sheer energy emmitted by the crowd, the electric atmosphere and the noise of the roars of approval and encouragement, I am certain we could power the city for days on end! Move over solar and wind energy - here comes some wicket wattage!!

Fourteen and counting!

2010-03-09T21:00:00.000+05:30

Here we are - fourteen years on. It is our wedding anniversary again! I think I said it all last year in 'unlucky for some' and I can't really add much to it!

We are still in Chennai but My Darling is travelling far more than he used to. Most times he whips round the globe and tries to be back within a couple of weeks. More recently it is taking a little longer! I find that I still don't like to be without him. Yes, the kids go to bed earlier. Yes, I don't have to cook full meals for him. Yes, we are a lot more relaxed about what time we come home from school and tend to linger longer and longer each day! Yes, there is no-one mucking up the entire bed, turning over with Richter Scale rumpling and no- one snoring on my right! But there is also no-one for me to tangle my legs with, no one to talk to in the quiet of the night, no-one to share my thoguhts and feelings with and no-one to depend upon when I hear funny noises (and in India, trust me there are many, many funny noises) in the rest of the house in the dead of night!

I find I sleep with my senses on alert, my cell phone on silent and the land line by my bed. It is at times like this I think about how much he changed me and changed my life by sharing it with me. Will I ever be the same again!

There we were, he born in Bombay, India, me born in Kampala, Unganda. He moving from city to city, me moving from country to country (Uganda to Kenya to England). We spent time together in his summer holidays, as kids, in London. His family came there in May. We tolerated each other, endured enforced time spent together (our parents were/are good friends). We were defintiely not too keen on each other!

Years later, he returned to England as a grown man, took me out once (at my Dad's request for an escort to an event in the centre of town!); brought me home late at night, firing questions all the way back. Proposed to me over the phone the next day (on my Dad's phone bill, I might add!!) and scared me to death! Persisted and pestered by showing up at my classroom, helping out with the PE lessons, turning up unexpectedly to take me out to lunch or dinner, showing up on the doorstep at 6am on my birthday with an entire brand new outfit for me to wear and the car boot full of red roses and lots of birthday cards! Constantly surprising me and keeping me off balance! Eventually, I gave in!!

Here we are nineteen years (add in a five year engagement!), two kids, five houses, too many cars to count and two countries and umpteen flights to many destinations later - still enjoying each other's company. Still choosing to be with one another. Still writing the intricate story that is our life together. Still giggling together till we cry (much to Nikh's embarrassed disgust!!). Still rough and tumbling with and without the kids. Still looking forward and backward at our lives together. He still teases me mercilessly. Still keeps me in the dark about everything until he is ready to spill the news! Still tries to make most of the decisions (operative word there is 'tries'!!) Still walks slowly when I am in a rush and speeds along when I am meandering! Still holds my hand in public and in private, no matter which country, which city, which day, which hour!

Goodness knows why we fit the way we do... so very different! He is a neat freak, I don't really notice the mess till I trip up on it! He knows exactly what he wants and will not settle for less, I am pretty easy going and will compromise! He is all about getting the best - equipment, tv, music system, car etc. I am all about getting what we can afford and getting a good deal! He sees the massive, globally big picture with the details already added, I see a vision and try to make it a reality! He reads one book at a time until it is finished, I have between four and eight books on the go (in the car, in the bathroom, in my handbag, in the bedroom etc) and dip in and out of each one until I finish them all at once. He is pragmatic, I am romantic. He is a realist, I am an idealist. he is a do-er, I am a dreamer! And yet our principles, our beliefs, our ideals, so much the same! Our fierce,touchpaper tempers, our intense love for our children, our love of music, theatre, good bargains, great deals and memorable trips, so much the same! Our love and loyalty for our friends, old, new and the forever kind, our need to do what we can to help someone, our attempts to maintain and nurture friendships in spite of time zones and geography, so much the same.

I am just waiting for Friday to start writing a new chapter.... together!

Superwoman I am not!

2010-02-28T18:40:00.000+05:30

I seem to have been a bit off kilter for the last few weeks. These things happen! Maybe Jupiter was in line with Saturn in Pisces or something! But either way I feel as though I have been a bit grumpy at the World! I have been taking things a bit too personally and thinking I could leap tall buildings with a single bound and fix all the wrongs to make them right.

Small epiphany in the middle of the night (those who know me well know that I don't often sleep through a whole night!): everything is not mine to solve! All the problems at school, at home, in committees, at work, global warming, world peace, poverty and starvation among under developed countries - not mine to fix. Of course I can do my bit. I can raise awareness. I can state my view. I can even offer small steps towards simple solutions to some of the above. But I cannot fix it all!

As a result of this self realisation - the load from my shoulders lifted. I am walking taller and smiling again! The problems of the entire world are no longer entirely mine. I think having parents (other than me) actually showing up to a recent Board meeting and stating their case, having parents write in with their issues and seeing other people as disgruntled as I (with committees, with the traffic, with the rubbish on the streets) made me realise I am not alone.

So I hung up my cape and bullet proof wrist bands and I am on a hiatus! The result - I am back to being me!

Life Lessons Served and Volleyed

2010-02-21T18:46:00.000+05:30

Nikh played in the SAISA Tennis Tournament this weekend. He was picked from a bunch of kids to make up two teams of four boys and there were two teams of girls too. He was pleased as Punch to be chosen and practised extra hard, got his kit ready a week in advance, tried to make sure his grades did not slip (otherwise you get cut from the team!). He set his own alarm clock (a most irritating loud, singing clock from my sister!). He made sure all his bags, his breakfast and anything he needed for the day was at the front door the night before and for the first four weeks of the season, he was right on track! The fifth week saw a slump - he had been on his Week Without Walls trip by then, had been to a friend's party and sleepover and was now on his last legs!

I think the late nights, early mornings and constant energy drain had caught up. Nikh was already seeing what life as a college student could be like ... exhausting! Burning the candle at both ends is not a good idea! So we tried to slow down on other parts of life to allow a little regeneration.

It worked, sort of! Unfortunately the Coach did not see fit to let the team rest the day before SAISA began and Nikh was up at 5am on Thursday for squad training and really lagging in the energy department!

The tournament began with a 7.30am start for uniform pick up at school and team photos! The excitement was palpable. Nikh was beside himself with being a part of a team and loved having a couple of friends picked too. Off to the Krishnan Tennis Centre and let the games begin!

Nikh had a bit of a slow start and his first match began at 12.45 after waiting in a state of high anxiety all morning. Once he hit that first ball - you could see the glow of enjoyment light him up. He played pretty well, a little distracted here and there, but with a love of tennis that was clear. He may have won and lost matches - most of the kids were much bigger physically and stronger; also older than him. This did not faze him as he kept on hitting the ball back.

The Ray visited to spectate and said, "Watch the ball, Buddi" (words straight out of her father's mouth!). My Darling, currently in New York sent frequent text messages along the lines of - don't give in, don't let a point go and run for every ball! Good friends popped in to see him play - luckily at just the right time, and I know Nikh was proud that people he loves cared enough to take time from their weekend to make the trek! I would have stayed rooted to my Pavilion spot but Nikh begged a girlfriend to remove me from the scene!

Anyway - wins and losses - humility in victory and grace in defeat - all good life lessons. Also learning to win a point with humble gratitude and to lose a point with dignity and credit where it is due are all good life skills. I liked that other coaches mentioned him to me for his optimistic attitude, his cheerfulness and sportsmanship both on and off the court. Other more experienced players complimented him and he glowed! He was not the best player there, nor the worst, but he tried his best and he should be proud of himself. I know that My Darling and I are proud of him.

Me, me, me!

2010-02-21T08:19:00.000+05:30

I have noticed recently that people think what they read on a blog entitles them to think they know a person and entitles them to comment, complain and pass judgement.

A girlfriend has been subject to all kinds of comments and conjecture because people read her blog. Her blog is downright straight forward. No beating around the bush and a welcome change from all the political correctness that invades our World. This is why I read every post she puts up and why I tell her what I think of her posts directly to her face.

I think I would like to put a couple of things straight here - blogs (in my eyes) are a kind of diary. As a child, I used to write what I thought and what I felt about things happening in my life in a book and then hide it under my mattress. I found that while I had mulled over the events in the process of jotting it down, I still had the jubilation, the anger, the anxiety, the joy and the humiliations inside me. Now that I post blogs, I do the same things as I did in my journal - I just tamp it down a little because I know that I am not the only one seeing my words! It does make one feel a little open and vulnerable!

I use my blog as a way of venting, sharing, celebrating and updating my family and friends who may be thousands of miles away. I use it as a means of communication - I do not ask anyone to actually read it, but the fact that I have shared how I feel, what we have done or the way I look at something satisfies an urge within me. I use it as a log of the journey of my life - sharing how we grow and change as a family.

This is the crux of the matter - it is MINE. it is how I feel and it is what affects, bothers, excites or angers ME. My views, My forum. What I write is of little interest to the vast majority of the world. I know that!

I am happy when people read and comment - and it has been interesting to see that people I don't even know comment when they have read about a concert or a play and they happened to be in the same auditorium. It was also a little scary to think people who know nothing about me, who are strangers are reading about my thoughts and actions. I am less happy when people who claim to have some sort of knowledge about me try to post anonymous comments that are negative and derogatory. No-one asks them to come onto my personal space and share. They are welcome to vanish into the larger abyss of unknown, unwanted opinion. They do not have to read what I write. They have not the courage of their convictions to allow a response to their malice, but feel mighty behind their cowardly anonymity. Obviously this is how they deal with their life. Not my problem. I know who and what I am. I know that sometimes what I say and do comes across in a way I didn't mean it to or expect it to. I am strong enough to apologise when I am wrong, and I am humble enough to know that I am not the bees knees. Just a cog in a giant, giant wheel.

Today's post was going to be a sharing of my views on how some people always step up and offer to help. How they more than offer... they follow through and DO whatever it takes, however long it takes to get the job done. I have been witnessing a couple of friends over the last couple of weeks, and their dedication to get things done. Their kids may not even be involved, except that they go to our school, but they show their commitment and their community spirit by volunteering, by taking on tasks that everyone is happy to criticise or comment upon, but not willing to put their money where their mouth is - in other words, when push comes to shove they vanish into the woodwork! (Sorry too many cliches in one sentence!) Where are the people with the huge great opinions on other peoples' lives when the chips are down and their help or contribution is needed....? We can but wonder!

But I got side-tracked!!

Arrogant Asses

2010-02-14T23:00:00.000+05:30

Yeah, Yeah. I know. Not nice to start with such a tone! But you know, some people are small minded, arrogant, xenophobic, racist bums.

I have always been of the opinion that Nikh's school is one of the few schools I have seen where bullying (not a big issue anyway) did not focus on race or ethnicity. The Head of School has succeeded in creating a community feeling, where everyone feels they belong. Our PTA has been a major contributor to the 'inclusion' policy and I have seen for myself that Nikh does not see people int erms of colour, language, race or country of origin - he sees friends. I love that about his school. Truly creating Global Citizens of the future.

You can imagine my shock last week to hear a parent stand up and claim that the host culture was less than hers, that she was so arrogant as to assume she was better than everyone else, and to top it off, in her ignorance she insulted a major Hindu God. The woman is a danger and a menace. She is full of herself. Her attitude is one of intolerance and clearly she is not a happy person. But she does like to share her misery.

I find I am alternating between sadness that one woman can create a rift between several communities, that one person (not a nice person) has the power to segregate and cause division, and absolute frustration and fury that she gets to continue on her merry way.

Painful Parenting

2010-02-14T22:51:00.000+05:30

Sometimes, especially when My Darling is not around to talk with, I simply do not know what to do! For those who know me pretty well, you know that I usually say exactly what I think - usually as soon as I think it! I do try not to hurt people, but being direct or straight forward is the easiest way to deal with the number of people I come into contact with every single day. I like when others do the same for me.

This is where I hit a stumbling block. I like to speak my mind. I like it when my friends and people I know all speak their minds. I don't like going round in circles (which I am at the moment ... you see I am still thinking about whether Ishould post this or not! doubt, doubt, nagging doubt!).

Okay, let me spill it - I am in a quandary. Nikh went to his best friend's birthday party, and loved it. He loved it so much, that when offered a sleepover with some of the other party goers, he jumped at the chance. Also bearing in mind that he has a slight air of panic that if he doesn't do everything right now, he will miss out and then we will be gone from Chennai. So he stayed. Don't get me wrong, his friend's mum is my kinda mum. Gently spoken, clear and more than able to hand a bunch of tween boys. I had no worries on that score.

My problems began when he came home. Something was not quite right. It took till 8pm to come clean. A few of the other boys were pretty malicious all evening and into the night. He barely got a couple of hours sleep, and is now full of anger, upset and hurt. These boys, one of whom I personally would prefer Nikh stayed away from and the other two - well, this is news to me. and not good news, have really done a number on him.

So my dilemma - do I call the boys' mothers and let them have it? Do I tell my friend that all this happened at her house (not my fave option - it was not her fault!),or do I leave Nikh to stew and suffer until his dad gets home to deal with it My instinct is to call the two boys' mothers and tell them what their boys have been up to. If it were me - I would want to know and want to deal with my son ... but would they?

Backtracking!

2010-01-23T23:47:00.000+05:30

So I have been off the blog radar for a while again! Sometimes I feel I have nothing to say so better to keep quiet! Other times, life is slow and uneventful, and finally, sometimes I want to say stuff out loud that I know damn well will land me right in it - so again, I write, save draft and walk away. Sometimes I can come back to the posts later and edit out the acrimony and post! Other times - delete is the key!!

Well - since last posting, we have been to Dubai a few times, (look for Dad in Dubai - separate post coming soon!) and spent Christmas and New Year in London. Dubai has become a favourite haunting ground for several reasons - Emirates is a pretty fantastic airline. They treat the kids well, they treat My Darling like royalty and I found out on the last flight that even The Ray is on their preferred passengers list ie - treat her damn well! I like it! Another reason is the second home we have there and this makes hotels almost redundant. the highlight for me is the washing machine and the view! Oh and did I mention the Dubai Mall is across the driveway - literally...15 steps away!! Waitrose, Carrefour, Boots, Starbucks and umpteen other stores are conveniently either in the mall or a bus ride away. The air smells clean. The public toilets are immaculate and people do not pee and poo everywhere you look. I love a place that has toilets in the airport and the shopping centres that do not make you retch and that The Ray can sit on the seat without fear! Ugh!

Christmas in London was spectacular. The Ray is convinced that her daddy is the one who ordered the snowfalls just for her. Nikh simply stared at the big fat flakes drifting past the window and did not quite believe his eyes until I openedthe window (4th floor!), shoved my hand out there, grabbed some flakes and melted them on his face!! Whoops of glee turned to sheer joy as he scraped off our neighbours cars each morning. They love him now! They offered to pay, but I didn't let them much to his disgust and My Darling's! The compacted ice under the snow was not so much fun, neither was driving in the slushy ice up a hill. The Ray pointed out from the back seat that Mummy was using bad words, lots and lots and lots of bad words! OOOPS!!

It was My Darling's 40th a few days before Christmas, so we had a small mulled wine and canapes evening at the Riverside. His mint choc chip tennis court ice-cream cake with '40-LOVE, Biren' written on the side was a big hit! Photo on friday! We still owe our chennai friends a birthday bash! The watch he bought for himself (from us) made him a Happy Hubby!! The e-reader from his in-laws has been used non-stop by three out of the four Wasanis!

Santa visited - we all made it onto the nice list - some by the skins of our teeth due to adolescent hormones I think! Hama beads were the big hit with The Ray, Nikh got a watch too - one where there is a code you decipher to tell the time - way cool!! My Darling got alcohol and a mulled wine kit and I got a couple of books and a few odds and ends!

We came back to Chennai and The Ray is now at AISC with her big brother and she is settled and happy. She absolutely loves her new teacher and her teacher adores her - win-win!!

Our school PTA committee is a little thin on the ground at the moment so I am helping them organise the Charity Fair on the 30th. I have also been drafted to help organise the PTA Ball on the 17th April as a last hurrah! Mostly for my contacts though. Glad to be of help!

Finally -I am helping the US CLO organise an Easter event with the Madras Mums - on the 13th March. This is also well under way and going smooth as silk!!

So now we are all up to date - let's hope I post a little more regularly to keep things moving!!

By the way - wishing you and yours a happy new year and a healthy one at that!

Zakir Rocks Chennai!

2010-01-23T23:20:00.000+05:30

This is what makes living in Chennai so utterly worth it!

This evening, we went to see Zakir Hussain(playing the tabla) and Shivakumar Sharma (playing the santoor) at the Music Academy.

A little background - Chennai is full of cultural, musical, art and drama festivals between November and the end of January - I suspect because the weather is so fantastic (some of us even resort to thermal vests!). Tickets are relatively easy to get, in fact you can buy season tickets. Except for this show - tickets went on sale at a couple of local bookshop chains, and within a very short space of time - sold out!

I know how much My Darling loves this kind of music, so I did something I try hard not to do - I called round trying to call in favours! But to no avail - no-one could help, nobody had any tickets and no-one would let me have their's out of the goodness of their hearts (understandably)! Add to the confusion one very good friend who knows I can usually come up with the goods, calling and asking for FOUR tickets, if I can get them for her!

I broke the sad news to her and to My Darling that it was a no go. No tickets anywhere!

Fancy my shock and delight when My Darling called me this morning to say we were going to the concert... in VIP seats! The bank called and invited him. They offered 2 seats, he tried and got 4!

The two men are so incredible at what they do - the first Raga lasted an hour and 35 minutes, and no one noticed! I looked at my watch and realised Zakir Hussain had been playing the tabla for an hour straight and Shivakumar Sharma had been playing the santoor for and hour and a half without stopping. So unbelievable!

Zakir Hussain (an old fave!) has 35 fingers - at least that is how it looks from the audience. His fingers fly so fast across the surface of the tabla that the sounds become a melody. The depth of the bass notes become part of your heartbeat and the whole experience makes you hold your breath and only let it go when he stops!

Shivakumar Sharma is a guy with a shocking white 'fro! He wore a fuschia kurta tonight with glod embroidery - difficult to take a guy seriously looking like that! But when he began to play - the kids, My Darling and I were completely mesmerised. He plays the instrument with a couple of metallic sticks. The instrument looks like a cross between a harpsichord, a harmonium, a harp and thumb piano! but the sounds that emerge from this thing sounded like a full orchestra in his two very capable hands. Simply stunning!

This is one of those nights that I will remember long after we leave Chennai! This is what I will miss - these kinds of experiences... oh and the VIP treatment!!

Committee Chaos!

2010-01-23T23:01:00.000+05:30

I have been meaning to write this post for some time, but because of the committee chaos in my life, time got away from me.

I realised a while ago that I am not capable of saying 'no' without sounding aggressive, petulant and angry. It is not a skill I have learnt and I would love someone to teach me the way and the words to be able to say this tiny little word which holds so much power without offending and alienating everyone!

I have found since I came to Chennai that people look at me as someone with 'nothing better to do'. I am a teacher. I got an honours degree in Education and English, I got my teaching certificate and I taught ... quite well, judging by the fact my colleagues, students and some of their parents are still in touch with me. I have always been slightly over enthusiatic about anything I get involved in - just ask my kids! I jump in with both feet and am very quickly up to my ears in whatever project I am on.

This does not mean I flounder half way - although that has been known! I do try and see things through to the end. I try to have a goal or product in mind and get things done. Like the Chennai Chapter, like the New Parent Book, like the various t-shirt projects and like all the Double Decker paraphernalia. I do work hard.

That is not to say that I am the only one. There are many many people working far harder than I and far more effectively. These people are on committees. This brings me to my thought for today. I find my mental and physical being is in total chaos. Committee Chaos.

Since coming to Chennai I have worked in various capacities on the BCA, the BBSC (committee member and secretary, OWC (chair of Entertainments, Childrens', Book Club, Tiffin, Playgroup, Bookstall, Halloween events, Santa Brunch, Welcome Back lunch etc etc etc), PTA (room parent, committee member, new parent coordinator, elementary coordinator, President, coordinator of many events, general helper!), Double Deckers, Logistics committee, Multicultural Comm, Chennai Chapter, Madras Kids, and many other bits and pieces that I don't even remember now! I have proof read hundred of different documents, for AISC, GA, SPS etc.,and finally I am now Vice President of the IWA just to add one more straw to this particular camel's back.

I suddenly found that I did not have enough time or energy to even get up in the morning. I was tired when I woke up and tired all through the day. My friends being as supportive as they wonderfully are - put up with my constant mantra of "Gosh, I feel tired". how much patience and tolerance they must have! My Darling, who has no trouble saying the 'N' word was less tolerant and far more impatient with the whole scenario!

As a result, for the first time, I dropped out of a committee. I stepped down from the Logistics Committee and suddenly felt a bit better. yesterday, I finally realised how draining some people are. One friend categorises the people in her life as 'life enhancers' and I would say the opposite are 'drainers'. The former help you, lift your spirits and your energy levels, perk up your day, it is not a burden to call them or take their call, to spend time together is not a mutual depression fest.

The drainers on the other hand are doing just what it says on the box. they suck out your soul. They wither away what little positive flow you have and you are left wan and dry. I have made a concsious decision to stay away from these sorts of people. It is hard to keep your distance - I think they spot the glow of good health or good energy from a distance and come to seek you out!! Almost like vampires sense fresh blood in the dead of night! (overly dramatic, I know - but I couldn't help myself!)

well, this all sounds very dramatic - but this is how I feel.

Since starting this post I have resigned from The Overseas Womens Club and stopped running the Tiffin Club (my baby!). It was a wrench as I have been a part of this organisation since my second or third day in Chennai. But - I am not here to be used or abused. I don't know if it is acultural or moral or ethical difference, but some people think they can say or do anything just because they are on a committee somewhere - well let me put that daft notion straight - they can't. I have to say that I feel lighter and less wound up - and I guess between now and my final departure from Chennai - I will drop a lot more burdens off my shoulders and let someone else take up the slack.

Photographic Friday - UN Day

2009-11-07T11:28:00.000+05:30

AISC UN DAY 2009

Global Indians!

Chloe, Joo Eun and Nikhil

Friends Forever!

Sheriden, Nikh and Holli

Flying the Flag!

HRH Queen Juliet offers cucumber sandwiches and shortbread

happy pic-Nikh!!

United Nations Day Reunited!

2009-10-30T11:06:00.000+05:30

I have felt for quite a while that my life here in chennai seems to be an endless round of committee meetings, event planning and execution and lunches and morning coffees.  Many a trailing spouse living here would probably feel the same! I haven't written for a while for that very reason - my days were too 'boring' to be of interest to anyone else! So I simply didn't write! Today - I have much to talk about....

Yesterday we celebrated the birthday of the United Nations at AISC. This celebration started a long standing tradition in what used to be a small school with under 300 children. A few parents thought it would be nice for the kids to taste the food of the various countries represented in the school. So we used the PTA as the vehicle to transport our ideas into a stunning samples buffet. The first year that I witnessed this - Nikh was in KG and the little babes were brought into the cafeteria and served their pizzas alongside a few bits and pieces. This is usually after a fantastic UN Day Assembly with a Parade of Nations (kids come through carrying their the flag of their home country) and a guest speaker as well as performances from several groups in school. The Choir and Band shine at this event - I am so proud of our kids and their teachers - so much effort, so much talent!! We parents are also pretty excited to see our kids come through - maybe carrying the flag for our country. The kids are chosen randomly and this is as it should be!

The next year - this grew into a few countries showing off their talents and their tastes! the year I was PTA President - the school had 600+ kids and we asked each individual country (groups of parents) to provide enough food to feed 85 people - this was very manageable -but the kids complained! They felt that they wanted to try a bit of everything - but once the food was finished in one section - they were lelft with few choices. I agreed - I got to taste a tiny bit from most countries as I walked around checking on stuff and cheering people on - but most people were not as lucky as I! I guess the kids wanted to try a little bit of everything ... as you do!

Last year was a break from this tradition - but this year we all decided to go back to a winning system. Where parents and teachers club together into country or region groups and cook/serve enough food for the entire school.

AISC has 29 nationalities represented - bear in mind that some children may be listed as one nationality, but their mum or dad may be something else, and they are the ones doing the work! This may mean that although there are a certain number of people listed for a country, the actual available man-power may be a lot less! However, long story shorter - we decided to make sure that every child had the option to taste every thing.  AISC has over 700 kids, plus teachers, custodial, admin staff and the parents who also want to try some of this yummy grub!! To cook for a thousand in relatively small groups was pretty daunting. So - we became united nations - Britain joined hands with Australia and New Zealand. France, Germany and Spain joined hands with Finland, Sweden and Denmark. The South East Asian countries all became a united group. How incredible is that?

We had coordinators heading up the regions and the PTA President (Usha), Secretary (Radha), A French mum (Lena), an American mum (Jill) and myself headed up the whole event. We planned, discussed, debated, passed resolutions, re-thought, changed the ideas and looked for the logistical pitfalls etc. Upshot - we commandeered the school gymnasium and decorated the walls with facts, flags and banner and bunting! We laid out table cloths, serving dishes and passed out disposable gloves! Then the parade of the food of nations began - Kimbab made by the mountain, crepes, meatballs, cucumber sandwiches and cottage pie, chocolate truffle balls (roly poly balls) and shortbread. The Americans ran a cookie bar - deliberately situated at the end of the line!    Once the table and food were ready we flung open the doors and the entire school trooped through. Children looked bemused, amazed, excited and hungry! Talk aobut spoilt for choice! WOW!! The older children were sizing up the portions to see if there would be enough for a second helping!! Some parents simply couldn't wait and jumped the line to eat even before the kids had got through. Our Head of School and the Principals were incredible. Even when coaxed to take a plate - knowing we had plenty of food, they declined and decided to wait until all the children and faculty had been through and as a result - I don't think they got a single bite to eat!

Kids also come to school dressed in their national dress, or in our case (Britain does not really have one!) in their home country colours. Nikh has always had a bit of a split personality about UN Day - he wears half UK and half India colours to be a bit of both. This year, though - he was pretty sure of himself!! The school becomes this radiant colour spectrum which stuns and delights the senses. Korean kids in their flowing brightly coloured clothes, Indians wearing simply beautiful outfits and children and adults moving around the school proudly showing who and what they are. Clear on where they come from and revelling in the value placed on this by their friends. Every child - no matter race, religion or nationality - BELONGS. simply outstanding! How often can every child (and adult) in a school with over 700 kids say that they were not left out? No cliques, no clubs, no groups - just global citizens sharing themselves. How often do we feel such a total sense of self worth? I think that this alone should make the UN Day celebrations that exist at AISC a forever tradition. If parents don't want to make the effort at some point in the future (though I REALLY cannot see that happening!!!) I think the School should take it on and run with it!!

I can truly say that apart from the chronic fatigue, pain in my legs from having stood up and walked around for so many hours, tummy ache from too much Kimbab, meatballs, noodles and satay and the sugar headache from eating too many cookies and shortbread, it was a really spectacular day.
The best part is having kids and adults walk right up and tell me how wonderful the day was and how very very much they appreciated it!! Roll on next year!!

What on Earth?

2009-08-24T09:54:00.000+05:30

What on Earth was the Great Creator (or Creators) thinking??

I ask you ....

What earthly purpose do ants serve? They swarm, they trample, they bite, they itch, they step in all kinds of yuck before walking all over my food and kitchen surfaces - likewise for lizards/geckos.

Cockroaches are even worse - they not only do all of the above, but they look hideous too. They have far too many legs and bits hanging off their heads, they are the colour of excrement and they wait until the kitchen has been cleaned (or the bathroom) before they make their grand entrance. They also won't lie down and die when you spray the living daylights out of them. They roll over, squirm, wriggle, bicycle their umpteen legs until you empty half a can of spray on one little bugger! Then they have to decency to drop dead!

Okay and then my personal dis-favourite - Mosquitoes. Why are they here? They bite us, irritate us, make us itch, bleed, put their yucky saliva under our skin, buzz in our ears, and they are the silent marauders. Just as you slip into the deepest sleep - the little buggers strike! SWAT Commando teams and Navy Seals have a lot to learn! They are in, bite, suck and out before you have come up through seven layers of dreams! I know that I then spend the rest of the night (unless by some stroke of luck I manage to splat the little bugger first attempt) looking out for them, checking on My darling, Nikh and The Ray to make sure they are not attacking them and generally getting more and more irritable and aggravated by the second! The best ones are when they manage to suck all the blood out of your eyelid - you wake up unable to open your eye and you look like an evil alien just landed from the worst sort of sci-fi flick! You scare young children, and even fully grown adults can be seen running screaming when they catch sight of you! Try scratching your eyelid - not easy!!

Okay - you may think I am exaggerating slightly - but at 3am (I know I am usually awake, but last night I was deeply asleep!! - Double Whammy!!) when you can barely focus beyond a squint, the last thing you want to be doing is stalking flying commanado blood suckers who are better at camouflage than most of the world's trained armies! Thank goodness for teh elctric swat bat - but try killing a mosquito sitting on My Darling's leg, he is snoring and I am armed!! Not good for a happy marriage!!

I need to know that they serve a purpose, then maybe I won't hate them so much! I realised why I like being away from Chennai on holiday so much - no mozzies! No constant scanning from side to side when we are in the car, on the street, in the shops, at the cinema, in a restaurant, by the pool, in the garden ... in fact pretty much everywhere! Also - no Mozzie spray on our skin - allllllll the time! I feel a little demented sometimes!

We don't usually have any of these infestations - I think they are here to welcome us back, with a vengeance! I noticed that all the A/C's in the house have been serviced etc - well, they have not fitted them backinto their holes properly - easy access for the entire zoo listed above! I am trying to buy duct tape here - if not, I am going to have to get inventive with masking tape!!

Well, rant and rave over - I am off to smoke out the entire house with anti mosquito incense cones - they work a treat.

Global Adjustments - Global events!

2009-08-24T00:19:00.000+05:30

I have been meaning to jot down my thoughts on a few events from the past couple of weeks. I keep forgetting so now that I have remembered while I am on line, time to get them thoughts in the open!

My Darling and I are often invited to events in Chennai as his company is pretty large and well known around here and I get involved in so many things, it is hard for people to NOT know me!

Many of you know my connection with Global Adjustments, a relocation company started in Chennai about 15 years ago by a brave but smart woman, Ranjini Manian. I collided with GA on my first morning here nearly 9 years ago. Ranjini is the sole reason that I am still in Chennai and was not winging my way back to Blightly on the first awailable plane with a seat for Nikh and one for me. At that point, I would not have minded being strapped to the tail of a plane as long as Nikh was safely inside! No drama then!

My Darling had scooted off to his new job, bright and early on that fateful morning; leaving Nikh and me to fend for ourselves. We awoke to find some strange woman (Savitri) buzzing about the kitchen (no food or drink suitable for a 3yrs old and his mother fresh off the plane!) and a man who was sitting in our living room as though he owned the place (company driver!). Niether spoke recognisable English and sadly, having had 2 weeks notice of our impending move, niether of us spoke an inkling of Tamil!
I have to say here that I speak Gujerati, a smattering of Hindi, a bit of Swahili, French, a bit of Spanish, a tad bit of italian and I can guess words from their latin or Sanskrit roots. So I thought I was in a good place. NOT SO!! No communication possible.

Finally I did what any woman who was on a strange continent on the other side of the planet without even the knowledge of her husband's work phone number, or even how many digits to dial! I sat down and wept. Lucky for me, the phone I was looking at with such contempt began to ring. I picked it up thinking that it could not possibly be for me - I didn't know a soul! It was Ranjini - my saviour, my hero and my ray of hope in the quamire of my instant depressive hatred for this strange city with an even stranger language!

She asked my name and after hearing the sheer manic panic in my voice sent her driver over to collect Nikh and me. The best way to put her next actions is SHE TOOK ME IN HAND...good and proper! she organised a city oreintation (priceless!) and found a school for Nikh. She asked me what would make living in Chennai for 3 months (yes, folks - I truly came for THREE months!) short of calling my Mum and Dad to get me out of here! I made a list of questions and she answered every single one of them. Incredible!

Anyway - back to this post - we have kept up a relationship over the years, partly because I could never thank her enough, but also because I think we like and respect one another. IF she needs anything - she calls and I answer. When I need anything, I do the same.

So GA often invites us to events and functions. Sometimes together, sometimes just me or the kids. The last few events have been 'together' ones, but My Darling has a mega meeting coming up, so has been working even more than usual (yes, it is possible!!), so I have been flying solo. One was an event with a carnatic singer, (I can hear you yawning from here, and it is not pleasant!!). I thought this would be a good one to miss, so I called to make our apologies and started cleaning my make-up off and undressing whilst on the phone. Dashes, foiled again! Ranjini must have a second sight where I am concerned as she brushed off my apologies and insisted I attend anyway! So back on with the slap and the bling and out the door! I am sooooo glad she forced me (Private Practice was recorded for another evening!) as Aruna Sairam was the most fascinating, humble and gifted artiste I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. The audience was small and appreciative - simply perfect She made carnatic music (usually sounds like wailing cats on a vibrating plate exercise machine) come alive and have meaning, soul and depth. I could not be more grateful to GA for letting her open my eyes and spirit to this kind of music.

GA lives up to it's name - the next event was the launch of a coffee table book called 'In Search of P.James'. From the moment your boots hit the ground in Chennai, you are exposed to the most prolific (free) marketing campaign the World has ever known. P. James Magic Show is written in balck paint on almost every single piece of wall in Chennai. it is written over and over and over again. Four words and a phone number - that is all, but the number of people who call the number and book the magic show is astounding!! Anyway - a British guy from Oxford has taken hundreds of photos around Chennai and GA launched their book publishing career with this tome! I think it will be a super success judging by the photos that had been put up for us to see. I think every expat will want one to take home and remind them of their time here, and those of us with friends who have left us behind can send copies home for Christmas and birthdays.

Well to recap the rest of the last couple of weeks - we were also invited to the opening of a new bar called 9 Feet High, the re-opening of the bar at the Taj - called Chipstead, which is really well done. Compared to how the place used to look this is a million light years away from there! Good luck to them too! And also to a Chanpagne filled sale of Jimmy Choos. Great times!! Keep them rolling on!!

4.30 Technology!

2009-08-22T04:39:00.004+05:30

Why is it that whenever I can't sleep I feel the urge to try new things - usually things that require my full brain capacity and let's face it ... 4am is not the time for THAT!!

I have been feeling that my blog needs an update. Those who know me well, know that I want to be more computer savvy, but am not logical enough for all that! I wrote a year of weekly newsletters, getting more confident with each new trick I learnt eg text boxes! Who knew!!??
With my blog - the most I have done is manage to moderate comments! So - I was very proud to have added the weather box, a counter to see how few people actually pop onto the blog and read 'me' and a link to another website. But I wanted more ....
I was regretting not having taken advantage of my cool ultra techie Danie, while she was living down the road, and thinking about how I could possibly persuade my equally cool ultra techie Jill, with her 3 month old baby, to take time out of her non-stop day to teach me some stuff ... when it struck me - change your template!
So I did!
And I lost all the stuff I had already added, but found easy ways to add other bits.
Now I have to find a way to add in the stuff that has vanished, and then go to bed a happy woman!!
Sweet Dreams - and let me know what you think of the all new, hopefully improved me!

Game, Set and Match, Mr Amritraj!

2009-08-18T23:56:00.004+05:30

What a charming man! Six foot four, towering over most, no ALL, of the women at the IWA meeting arranged a few days ago for Vijay Amritraj, ex-tennis champ, to talk openly about anything that he fancied!

He started off with saying that it was any man's dream come true to be the only man in a room with so many many women! after the snickering died away, he went on to say how difficult the 'open' chatting would be as most of the older ladies in the audience knew his parents before he and his brother were born, many of the rest have known him since childhood! His Aunt was also in the audience and he sounded pleasantly surprised that she took time to come and listen.

I have to say - I was not expecting such a lucid, sometimes funny, humble man to talk so genuinely about his struggles, about the way Indian fans treated him when he lost a really important match (and made him cry!), about travelling abroad for the first time and encountering racial prejudice, about his charitable foundation and work, and finally about his mother and his family.

He answered questions patiently and then I asked him for an autograph for Nikh - he signed with a flourish and some polite questions about him. As I turned to go, I saw him bend almost in half to hug an old, old lady who had approached him. As he hugged her tight, I heard him say in the most humble and respectful manner, "wow, Auntie, you still look fantastic!" He made her day.
He made me think what an incredibly nice guy!

Game, set and match to him!!

backwards and forwards!

2009-08-12T10:10:00.006+05:30

It has once again been an age since I sat down to compose myself! I guess I get out of the habit and then the bits of news start piling up and I don't know where to start! So I will start somewhere and work backwards and forwards - I leave it to you to figure it out!

The run up to the count down to the end of the school year was even more hectic than usual - a number of very good friends HAD to leave and several teacher friends moved on too. Sad, for me, because I have to say another set of 'goodbyes' which is always heartbreaking for me, but happy for them (in most cases) as they get the excitement of a new posting, a new job, a new country and all that this entails.

After several very liver and diet damaging farewell lunches, dinners, a day at the beach, coffee mornings, etc etc I was almost glad for the last day of school simply to stop eating and drinking myself into an early grave! We did not leave for our holidays immediately as My Darling needed to be in Chennai for a meeting and we were all going to his parents' 50th anniversary party in Bangalore. Besides he had only just come back after missing the traumas of the end of school!

When we eventually took off, we stopped in Dubai for some much needed decompression and a quick bit of retail therapy in the world's largest mall - walking from one end to the other is miles of trekking! It has an aquarium, an ice rink, cinemas, several food courts and restaurants, ice cream joints and then there are the shops - high end, mid range and sales offering bargains galore! My idea of a truly good time!

We hit London running and spent an inordinate amount of time at the Riverside Club, playing tennis, swimming, badminton, the kids had sports and activities camps etc. We spent time with good friends who include us in their lives whenever we drop out of the sky!

We had one holiday with My Darling's family on a windy, drizzly lump of rock called Guernsey, which is an Island in the English Channel! Suffice it to say that the journey out there, on a catamaran, was so rough almost every person on board was sick, sick, sick. The Ray fell asleep shortly after we set sail, but woke up vomiting violently, I cleaned her up and then she would repeat the process - over and over and over again. By the end of the nearly 3 hour journey; (the longest 3 hours of my life ... including my labour with Nikh which was 3 and a half hours and not nearly as bad as this - in fact it was a walk in the park!!!) the bins were overflowing with sick bags and the crew were on constant clean up manoeuvres. Dis-flipping-gusting!!

We had a couple of short stay breaks on our own around England which were short and sweet. The Ray and Nikh were indulging themselves by spending as much time in every 24 hour stretch with My Darling as possible! I worried about the time we returned to his normal routine and the Daddy Drought that was to come!

We also went off to Disneyland Paris with my family - we were booked first class on the Disney Express. How exciting for a 4 year old to be on the DISNEY Express!! I think she expected it to leave the tracks, rise through the clouds, swing round a few stars and then deliver her into Mickey Mouse's lap for a hug! As it was, we arrived at Disney to find that we were to leave the train and go straight to the parks as our luggage would fall under the magical spell of Disney and be whisked to our hotel rooms on Tinkerbell's fairy dust! I now believe in magic! We set off, had a quick french version of a fast food meal (good meat, good bread, good cheese and a beer!) and then The Ray flew on Dumbo the flying elephant and Nikh took my sister off to drive a car in Autopia! a couple of rides, good coffees, a long walk later we headed back to the Disneyland Hotel to rest before dinner. My parents had already had enough Disney for several lifetimes, but were determined to see this thing through with a big smile!!

I need to say a bit about the hotel - it is a huge pink building that spans the width of the parks. In fact the entry and exits to the parks is on it's ground floor!! It is decorated like a Disney movie with ornate tables and chairs, curving, flowing double staircases and huge ornately handled doors etc. You get the picture! We settled into spacious rooms with enormous beds and lots of space in the sitting room part etc. The Mini-bar was above the Ray's reach, thank goodness and the bathrooms were lovely!

Then came the meals - you have to understand that we have been to Disney World in Orlando more times than I care to count - it started with our honeymoon!! We are used to characters in the parks, queueing for hours to get a 10 second photo opp with them and then starting the system again! A resort hotel is a whole other world. You sit down to eat and suddenly Donald Duck is leaning over your shoulder to see what is on your plate! He was followed in quick succession by Pluto, Goofy, the chipmunks - Chip and Dale, Eeyore, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger and Minnie Mouse. We were visited by Aladdin's Genie, Friar Tuck, and then the previous list again, and again, and again! In fact I took over 100 photos at the first dinner - don't think I ate a thing, but I got the pics!! Every time I went to put a bite of food in my mouth, a squeal of delight from The Ray meant I had to grab my camera and wait for the optimum pose! Brilliant for a munchkin, novel for a pre-teen (for the first two characters) and exhausting for every adult in the room who simply wants one good photo and then a quiet meal!

On one of the nights we made The Ray's wildest dreams come true by booking a table at Cinderella's Castle (Auberge de something or other!) and we were visited by every Disney Princess from Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Jasmine onwards to present times! Nikh was not to sure about these over dressed, hour glass figured, over made up, hand wringing women leaning in just a touch too close! My Darling, on the other hand, told the kids that Belle is to be their new mother and that I am free to leave anytime!! She only leaned over and smiled at him once while looking deep into his eyes!! Such is the power of Disney magic! I have to say I was not impressed as she even had her prince charming aka The Beast with her!! Shameless hussy!!

We whooped and hollered at a Buffalo Bill show and suffered through the smells and sawdust upchuck from the hooves! Have to say the ribs and other meat was excellent - even served on a cast iron skillet as though straight off the camp fire! The shooting shows by the characters were a little forced - but the little ones thought it was real - that is all that counts!

We caught the Disney express home again, swinging past the North star and straight on till morning! Then came the count down to departure date!

I finished all the jobs I had set myself except for clearing out my garage (full of my teaching materials .... just in case I ever need them again!! Yeah, right!) and then started the BIG SHOP to bring things back for another year! We were hugely over on our luggage allowance, but somehow got away with it both in London and in Dubai! I swore that we will not travel like camels on a trek in the desert any more! (at least till next summer!!)

It is good to be home, unpacking has stalled after 9 bags - three to go but going nowhere! I have already seen many old friends and made a couple of new ones too. The Ray excitedly went back to her school but is exhausted every afternoon. Nikh is a grown up in Middle School now and showed a promising start by organising and preparing everything he might need himself. HE made his own lunch, packed all his snacks, water, hat, sunscreen etc and it was all by the front door ready for the first day back. This current attitude is still flowing ... long may it last!! My Darling is back to working all the hours that God sends, and I am back to shopping, ordering, double checking, re-organising and dropping off and picking up! Same ol' same ol'!!

Saucy Chef Carluccio!!

2009-05-14T18:07:00.007+05:30

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to cook, I love to collect recipes and cookbooks and I love good food!! It is easy to tell, isn't it!!

On Tuesday - I got to do both, but in the presence of greatness. Chef Antonio Carluccio is charming, chatty, chivalrous and cheeky! Yup. He started off (I was the first one there - damned British time-keeping) by telling me he was for hire. He said that he has been married three times and divorced three times, so now he is only for hire! As my eyebrows shot to my hairline and all the blood pumped straight to my cheeks! I suggested he tell all the lovely ladies who were due any minute!

Okay - let's back up a bit! Last week I got a call from gorgeous Chef Rajesh at the Park Hotel, an elegant 5* establishment that prides itself on cooking good food and presenting it really well. You may have read about the place in my previous blogs. We spend rather too much time in that place! He called to ask if I had heard of Antonio Carluccio. I double checked that he meant the world class chef and not some fisherman from Kerala with coincidentally the same name! (call me cynical but I have lived here for 8 years ... I KNOW what to expect!) After all tests were passed, he went on to say that the man himself would be in Chennai for a couple of days, and would I be interested in meeting him. We went on to talk about a cooking demo and I got to work sending out one simple text message and one email. Within a few minutes - the 'yes' screams that flew back into my phone and inbox could probably have been heard in New York!

I realised this was going to be bigger than either of us had expected and wehad to put an immediate limit on the numbers and I even turned away several people ...boooo!

My Darling and I met Chef Antonio on Sunday whilst having brunch at the Park (where else!!?) and he turned out to be humble, charming and witty. He even spent quite some time with Nikh giving him some good advice about cooking, restaurants, following dreams and becoming a chef. Nikh listened diligently and then shot off to play (highly irritating, pointless game) Dak Chi. We talked for a few more minutes, I begged him to make Tiramisu at the demo and feeling hyper from talking with a great, famous celeb (those who know me also know what a corny groupie I am!!), I went off to have a green tea and calm down. Even My Darling was in awe!

I was on tenterhooks waiting for Tuesday - it was like waiting for Christmas morning! All the ladies came trooping in, with big grins and high expectations and I started to get a little nervous - what if it all went pear shaped!? Uh oh!

Worrying for nothing! The man immediately flirted and charmed every woman in the room by saying how much he loves ladies - not men (emphasised!) only ladies! He insisted that he is not a CHEF but a COOK. He said that chefs do a job and make money. Cooks cook because they love to cook. They have passion, he said ( I don't think he was entirely talking about in the kitchen - if you get my drift...nudge, nudge, wink, wink ...say no more!!) that chefs simply don't.

Once he started to get his hands dirty, the crowd was silently awestruck! He made sauteed marinated sardines, he made a chicken dish where the chicken had been cut like an octopus's tentacles. The main course was an aubergine parmigiana and a raviolo (one big round version of a ravioli) filled with spinach, ricotta cheese and finished with one egg yolk dolloped in the middle of the well before sealing the pasta and cooking for a few minutes. It was a bit like ravioli with poached egg inside. And finally the piece de resistance (sorry don't know the Italian for that, only the French!!) his world famous Tiramisu. Aaaaagh! Ooooooh!

He added the liqueur to the coffee, added the cream and sugar to the mascarpone cheese and started dipping the sponge into the liquid before layering with the cream. Refusing to 'gild the lilies' with the beautiful chocolate shapes Chef Santosh had so lovingly crafted, he offered up the sweet concoction to be savoured, mouth wateringly from a distance!

Lots of smiling ladies applauded, took umpteen photos and dashed into the next room to taste the cooking! The ensuing silence spoke volumes!

In among the excitement and enjoyment of the morning, my heart was heavy. Nikh, my budding chef, was really very upset and disappointed that I MADE him go to school instead of allowing him to come with me to this once in a lifetime opportunity. I have to say that listening to Chef Carluccio segue his jokes from 'tits in soup' to 'child of a Mafia don writing to Baby Jesus' and blackmailing him with Mother Mary's abduction to a 'pair of fleas sunning themselves on the Cote d'Azur' having travelled there on various unmentionable parts of the male and female anatomy, I was bone-meltingly grateful that my parenting instinct, that school is all important, had come to the fore!

I was forgiven as the next evening, Nikh was having dinner with friends (guess where!!) and who should still be training chefs? Who allowed Nikh and his friends to participate? Who offered them a taste of Tiramisu and Sicilian tomato and stale bread salad? Who became a hero and a demi-god in one fell swoop for allowing these children to help him roll out his handmade pasta? Who gave them autographs and photo opportunities until they were satisfied?

Saucy, Sweet Chef Antonio Carluccio!!

These couple of days will go down in my all time memory of special, special moments in our lives!

Yes! OH Yes!!

2009-04-20T11:13:00.003+05:30

I wonder who came up with the idea of having a spa and showers in an airline lounge? When I first heard about this, I thought that it was useless. After all, who would want to get undressed and shower and get back in to the same yucky, smelly clothes when in the middle of a 10 or more hour journey?
I have to say that carrying as much stuff, in my hand luggage, as I already do (stuff for Nikh, stuff for The Ray and stuff that I have managed to grab along the way - newspapers etc) I do not have any inclination to carry a change of clothes for myself.
Also - getting into a shower that umpteen hundreds of people have already been in - and I am sure they all have questionable foot hygiene - just does not turn me on! I would need my flip flops, a spare towel to stand on etc etc. Call me finicky!
But, aside from the shower thing - what about the spa side of things?
Again - the sceptic in me was not too impressed at the thought of shelling out hundreds of pounds on a massage in a strange place with strange people, when I could be in the Duty Free shops stocking up on booze and chocs!
We usually fly emirates or BA, but this last trip to London, we tried Etihad. They have won awards for service etc (fully deserved, I might add). We landed in Abu Dhabi late at night, My Darling was already in London, so just the kids and me. We made it to the lounge. Rhea was very ill and I just couldn't leave her, but I was curious about the rush of people trying to get into the spa. One guy (ultra gorgeous) came out of the shower (fully dressed, I might sadly add!) and looked totally relaxed and ready for the next 14 hour leg of their journey. His wife looked harassed and knackered as she had watched their 3 kids all under 4yrs old! Others were arguing and squabbling about the availability of appointments! Go Figure!
Anyway, I digress! On the return journey, with My Darling accompanying us, we landed and the Lounge was pretty deserted, so I suggested we both book in for a treatment. His immediate response was not to waste money - let's go to the shops! I went to look at the list and the prices. To my eternal amazement the price for every treatment was FREE!!! Yep I will repeat - FREE!
I booked both of us in for a facial, timed one after the other and raced back to tell My Darling to go and relax first. I fed the kids and settled them into the family room (another fantastic idea!) and then read a couple of English papers (bliss!) until My Darling returned looking a little like a ruffled penguin! His hair stuck out at angles, but his face was glowing! He looked great! Off I ran. I emerged after my treatment from a guy named "Oh"! He had magic fingers that eased the tension from my head and neck. Cleansed, toned and a quick face pack later, I was all set!
I immediately booked us in for a foot and leg massage and I went first! Amazingly incredible!
I have to say that this is the first time in all my life that I have landed not feeling like I have been in several train wrecks simultaneously or pushed through a wringer face first - twice!!
I was energised, recharged and raring to go. My jet lag was almost non existent and the body aches from carting so much crap around dust did not make their regular appearance! I also unpacked almost everything on the same day that we landed due to a total lack of lethargy!
I think these massages and treatments should be available ON the aircraft! The up side of that is the kids are strapped into their seats, they are given an endless stream of food, drink and movies. I know they will not go missing, walk away or some of our belongings stolen so I can relax and have endless treatments from here to eternity! Go Etihad!!

Simple Pleasures

2009-04-06T21:48:00.002+05:30

I was driving along a lovely English lane, listening to Michael Buble on Smooth FM, thinking about how much I love my home town! I know I wasn't born here, but having lived in London (or rather just outside London) for all but 3 years of my life, I think I am entitled to think of this place as my home!

So I am going to list how I feel about the simple pleasures of my life -
- the sight of magnolia blossoms blooming, the creamy whiteness contrasting with the magenta centres
- blooming daffodils, golden and standing erect with their trumpets blaring a bright farewell to the winter (regardless of the frost on the ground, the hail, sleet and even snow flurries blustering around them!)
- the bright potent palate of other spring flowers bordering our gardens (gosh our gardeners do a damn good job!!)
- spiky bare branches of trees still slumbering
- knotty stubbed twigs on trees trying their hardest to push leaves out through their hard winter bark.
- clean streets - no rubbish, no faeces (animal or human), no spit marks, no stray animals laying any old place
- orderliness - on the pavements, on the roads, in the shops, in the car parks - and all with out 90 year old 'guards' directing people and the cars into almost un-doable positions!!
- sleeping in my own bed, on my own pillow with my quilt up to my ears!
- wearing socks in bed (sexy, huh??!)
- driving along a lane with a wood running on one side of the road and a farm with horses grazing on the other.
- reading The Daily Mail and The Times and a couple of other papers every single day!
- eating any cereal I fancy - having a choice of 9 in the cupboard (no fear of rats, cockroaches, ants, termites, moths and other tiny, brown insects that feast and flourish in your food stores and bite humans - but I don't know what they are called!)
- having a full size oven!
- driving in London - (not Chennai) - where upon approaching a traffic light that is on green it is safe to put your foot down and feel fairly sure that cars, autos, bikes and bullock carts will not come hurtling at you from every direction.
- not seeing autos swerving, driving sideways and backwards
- driving myself!
- shopping without being touched, pushed, queue jumped and pestered!
- buying food that is pre-packed, pre-washed and organic!
- not scanning back and forth, manically, for mosquitoes!
- seeing a pale blue morning sky with only the jet streams slicing the sky with great big white cloudy lines
- playing tennis
- going to The Riverside - our health and leisure club (yup we maintained our membership!)
-watching Nikh and The Ray play tennis with My Darling, in blissful abandonment.
- swimming and sitting in the jacuzzi, knowing that most people are not going in fully dressed and then using the structures as public bathrooms (I hope!)
- stopping in a Starbucks for a frothy hot choc and a luscious melting chocolate cookie
- using bathrooms that are mostly NOT flooded with all kinds of toxic, unhygienic fluids - bodily or otherwise! Even using bathrooms in shops and restaurants, not looking for a 5 star hotel or having to 'hold on' until we get home!
- letting The Ray go to the loo, anywhere - no fear of disease and lack of disinfectant!
- not having some woman in a sari staring at you while you do your best not to let the afore-mentioned fluids come over the top of your open toed sandals and actually make contact with skin!!
- having lunches, dinners and snacks in all kinds of different restaurants, coffee shops, bistros, gastro-pubs and being able to have a choice of beverages - alcoholic or otherwise!
- walking in the park
-walking on the pavements
- going to the post office
- ordering on line and having the stuff arrive almost the next morning!
- wearing my boots - ankle, knee high, - any kind!
- wearing cashmere!
- blowing out freezing fog as we walk along the street!
- watching The Ray;s face go bright red and glowy from the chilly wind!
- watching Sky TV - choosing from 800 channels and watching Oprah an hour, or even two, later just in case I was out shopping when she was on!
- listening to the radio - Magic, Radio 2, Smooth, Heart, Absolute, Capital and more!
- listening to conversations that stimulate and music that simply rejuvenates!
- cooking in MY kitchen
- not purifying anything and everything that I bring into the house!
- spending time with My Darling, Nikh and The Ray without having upwards of three observers moving back and forth around us!
- having private conversations!
- getting a good deal on my mobile phone contract!
- spending time with good old friends
- laughing, laughing and more laughing!!

Finally, in a couple of days I will add how much I enjoy spending time with my parents and my sister, once they come back from their hols.
Meantime - I still miss friends who happen to be all over the World, USA, Canada, India, Europe, South America, Rabat, Cairo, Australia, Africa etc etc etc!

But you know, my simplest pleasure is just coming home.

Unlucky for Some!!

2009-03-10T18:45:00.006+05:30

Thirteen years! Wow! Thirteen years! I still can't believe it!
Yup, today is our wedding anniversary and when you add in our five year mammoth engagement, it is actually more like EIGHTEEN years that Biren and I have been together.
My romantic (then!) boyfriend 'married' me with a ring pull from a coke can when we were in a tiny little temple up in Nandi Hills (or someplace near Bangalore - I was completely jet lagged!) and it was just the two of us, he pledged his undying love, fidelity and forever happily ever after in a stone room which was so small we had to bend over to go inside or risk losing the tops of our heads!
That was 1991 when we were announcing our engagement to the world, here in India. What a long way we have come since then. We had our registry wedding in October 1995, the full on Indian wedding, minus a video, in March 1996, moved houses three times in London less than 100 metres from each other! We have had Nikhil, our miracle! Then moved to India, had an ectopic pregnancy and a few miscarriages. Found out we were expecting another baby, but no heartbeat. Flew to London to find a heartbeat, thank goodness! Had Rhea, here in Chennai, our second miracle baby! Moved houses twice in Chennai. Nikhil has moved several schools. We have made loads of friends and acquaintances. We have bought and sold cars and various household appliances! Travelled to places in Europe, America and Asia. Had parties - surprise and not!

We have had humongous, massive, enormous fights ... I am happy to say that I have realised that our fights are almost always about things and people outside of the two of us! The spats are not about him and me!
It really doesn't help that I am not the meek and mild traditional Indian wife who touches her husband's feet each day, idolises him and worships the ground he walks upon! I do however think the fights are quite healthy for a relationship! The making up is pretty good, too!

I must say though, that even now, when he turns on the charm, gets a certain glint in his eye and turns the full power of his tiger brown eyes on me - well, puddle of mush is the result!

Long may it last!!

btw - I do have one picture of our wedding day but it is in adobe format so if anyone knows how to make it into a regular attachment I can upload it to my blog!! just call me technologically challenged!!

Red Card, Ref!!

2009-03-09T21:10:00.005+05:30

I know we have all heard of THOSE classic soccer mums and how manic they get at their kids' matches. Today I saw a disgusting display of soccer DAD's in action. Okay before I get totally irate, again, let me start at the beginning.

Nikh and his friends choose to play soccer (football to the rest of us!!) but only get the chance once a year for a but six or eight weeks. It is hard as each year there are new players, each year they get the same few weeks of skills training and then into matches with other local schools. As parents, we love the fact that our kids are learning another skill, they are outside running around and getting some exercise and air that as fresh as it can be in Chennai! We love that they have a dedicated Coach who is trying his best to instill sportsman-like behaviour, teaching them the rudiments of the game and we have a parent who is willing to sponsor their uniforms (something they have never had before!!). But we don't seriously expect them to win too many games. The boys don't go out on the pitch with a do or die attitude either!

The other teams arrive, and the attitude from the boys and girls is fine. They are here to play a game with other kids - quite frankly, I don't think they care who wins just as long as someone cheers for them! You should have seen the boys' faces when the spectators started a chant of "Let's go Raptors, Let's go!!". I wish I'd had my camera on then! The other team scored and just as many kids cheered for them - I did too! they loved it and I overheard a visiting parent remark upon it!

Then came the total opposite of a silver lining! One man decides that he should take over the coach's position starts yelling instructions to the visiting team. He yells, yells, yells and yells. The coach tries to wrestle control back - in vain. This man's vanity knows no bounds of courtesy, sportsmanship or just behaving himself in front of not only his own kid, but many other kids too. He was politely asked to move away. Reluctantly he stalked off, muttering. Only he was not down and out yet - he moved to the opposite side of the pitch, gathering a few supporters along the way. He set up camp and began the same bolshy coaching from over there.

My issue with this parent and his chums was not so much that they blatantly disregarded what they had been asked to do, but that they disagreed with the Ref and started heckling him and then they moved on to the kids - they taunted and sarcastically yelled at the boys - 'Good shot!' when the ball was kicked out, 'that's a goal, Ref!' when it clearly wasn't etc. You know the kind of person. At home we call them lager louts - this gang did not have the benefit of alcohol. Stone cold sober - innate character coming out. I call 'FOUL'!! Foul behaviour and foul attitude.

If they can't be muzzled, the least we can do is show them the Red Card.

The first photo is Nikh with a wound just under his lip where one of the visiting team kicked a little too high and made his mouth bleed - but get this - the kid kept coming up to Nikh to apologise repeatedly and check he was okay. I say he should be Man of the match!!

Turtle Time!

2009-02-23T11:29:00.005+05:30

Amazing - yet another February is here and another baby turtle hatching and releasing season starts!

We were invited to Fisherman's Cove, - a Taj 5* hotel along East Coast Road, to help release the first batch of baby Olive Ridley turtles into the ocean at high tide. So we arrived on the beach just in time, to find the largest crowd we have ever seen! This is The Ray's first time with baby turtles, but Nikh is an old hand. I think My Darling was a little overwhelmed by the enormity of playing such an important part in the grand scheme of Mother Nature! He stood back and just drank in the whole scene!

The kids and I got right into things, and were given a cute, slimy, black baby turtle to hold in the palm of our hands. The Ray tried valiantly to hold one, but the 'Eeeeuw, Mama it is yucky!' got the better of her! Nikh manfully strode to the edge of the surf, and followed directions - you must let the baby feel the sand and walk into the sea because they come back to the beach where they were born to nest and lay their eggs. If they don't walk into the ocean (if you throw them into the water for example) they can never find their way back.

Eventually I held The Ray's hand and together we helped the little fellow/gal settle down on the shore and wait for a touch of a wave to encourage him/her forwards. We watched with cries of delight "Swim baby turtle! Swim far away" Cried The Ray. "Watch out for the sharks and their big sharp teeth!!"

We watched many turtles struggle to swim out to sea against the waves crashing them back to shore. Fascinating that we have been a very real part of Nature's miracle - we helped an endangered species get a foothold on its journey around the world. Even though Nikh and I have done this many, many times - each time is just as exciting and emotional as the first.

The only way to describe it is - WOW!!

Glug! Glug! Chomp! Chomp! Giggles galore!

2009-02-21T11:40:00.004+05:30

Yesterday I went to the Taj Connemara for lunch. Nothing unusual in that, you might think, except I had received an invitation addressed to ME. Not My Darling, not Mr and Mrs - just me. 'Come for lunch' it said, 'Sushi and Tequila'. I RSVP-ed that I would be there, but when I got up yesterday, I did not feel up to it. Have been feeling a little unsettled the last week or so. I told My Darling that I won't go, but he insisted. In fact The Ray spent the afternoon with her Dad just to make it easier for me to be footloose and fancy free!

I walked in feeling a little weird - not sure I would know anyone, not sure of the game plan, then being greeting by the staff there like a long lost friend and not recalling any one's names! Nightmare!
Anyway - I spotted 3 faces I knew, who were sitting at one table, in a room full of clucking women! Chennai's social elite was present, GM's of other hotels, wives of GM's etc. All women, all dressed up and all smiling!

I sat down and was presented with a margarita to smooth the way. Green apple to start. I decided I didn't care for the apple puree at the end. So they brought me a pomegranate one, an orange one, a lemon one and they kept on coming!! A small salad starter was served, and I caught up with the friends I was with.

The sushi platters were beautifully presented. Lucky for me I love sushi and know what most of the seafood is. Poor buggers who had no idea, or were sushi virgins, were all at sea with a bunch of fish!! (pardon the very obvious puns!!) The taste was fantastic.

Then came the shooters - ginger and Cinnamon, lemon, orange and plain - well how could I waste drinks that were poured already???!!! This was about the time that the tempura arrived. Yum Yum Yum! Prawn, calamari, unidentified fish and a variety of veggies. Dipping heavenly fried food in a scrummy sauce while starting to go numb around the teeth and tongue areas was a miracle of manual engineering! I can proudly say I did not spill anything! However suddenly almost anything anyone said was uproariously giggle-worthy! Great way to spend the afternoon with a whopping great big grin on your face!

Around 2pm, I started making leaving noises - needing to go to school and pick Nikh up. but the Thai food was whooshed onto our plates - who can resist a Thai chicken green curry and lemon rice? Not I!! the veggie curries were a little on the spicy side for me, but helped sober the lush up a little! I downed a glass of Pepsi with the vague idea of diluting the 80% proof shots that had been like bullets at a firing range repeatedly hitting the bullseye in the pit of my stomach!

I finally got up on wobbly legs, desperately needing to pee, at 3.20. Piled into the car and slept all the way to school! (poor driver - what must he have thought!)

I used to be derisive of the 'Margarita Mums' who literally rolled into school around 4pm every Friday (you know what Aussies are like - hee hee!!) and here I was doing exactly the same thing! Do you know how blisteringly bright the sun is across the AISC football pitch on a Friday afternoon?!

Some kindly, very amused and sympathetic mums bought me a large ginger tea with enough sugar to drop a bull elephant into a diabetic coma! But I have to say it almost did the trick! By the time I got home with Nikh at around 7pm, there was just a dull throb in the middle of my forehead and it's twin in the back of my head! No dinner for me! Just bed!! Hic! Hic! Snore!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - or lack of!

2009-02-18T00:51:00.004+05:30

I wonder what it is that makes me wake up after I have gone into the deepest sleep? I have nothing to think about, nothing to worry about and absolutely nothing to stress about - and yet I am awake at nearly 1am .... again!

Admittedly things are not going swimmingly at The Ray's main play place, and the sheer helplessness I feel about the goings on there are creating a knot in my tummy. But I know I have viable options should it all go to hell in a hand basket - and I am a believer in things being meant to be....

I miss my mum and dad and the Angel. I miss Lisa, Jen, Danie, Marcela, Ania, Asha, Patty, Aisling, Jane, and others too numerous to mention. I miss being able to go to the mall and just walk, walk, walk and then stop for a Starbucks hot choc with tonnes of whipped cream on top! I miss driving myself to the shops or to the club - I miss playing tennis everyday (or as often as!).

I feel so grateful that friends enter my life with such ease and I feel like a real Meany to still be yearning for those who have moved onwards and around the world-wards! But yearn I do! Does this needing and wanting and missing ever fade, I wonder?

I have been trying to wear myself out - I bounce! Yup literally bounce on an adult trampoline that sits just behind the sofa in the sitting room - so I can watch TV or listen to music etc with no-one turning back to look at me! OK this does not always work out when Nikh or The Ray try to join me! Chaos ensues! I have lost one one single gramme of weight - but I will continue my Tigger impression because I feel as though it is making a difference .. not that you can tell!!

What's New?

2009-02-17T11:23:00.005+05:30

I just realised that my last post was the end of November! I had better get more organised about this blogging thing - I just never seem to be at the computer with enough time to get this written in addition to everything else!

Since I last wrote - Nikh had a Chef Party and turned 11. he had about 25 friends (girls and boys) at The Park for the most incredible, well planned and well organised 4 or 5 hours! The kids came in and were given a Chef hat to wear. I had aprons made for them and they all wore these. They all looked so very cute! They all cut out cookies and made sausage rolls which were sent to the back kitchen for baking. then they helped make the pizza dough and the cheese pasta dish. I loved the shock on the kids' faces when they realised quite how hot it is in an industrial kitchen! After this, they put toppings on the pizzas and started eating the pizza and pasta as soon as they were served. They fell upon the food like a ravenous pack of wolves! Anyone would think they had never been fed!
Then came some sweet stuff. They made fruit trifles, iced cookies and cupcakes with a lot of finger-licking and slurping their tongues around their lips! Icing was squished out of the bags, slopped on tables and floor and generally ingested all over the place!
The kids got a bag with a new and updated recipe book collated by Nikh and he had mixed up a choc chip oatmeal cookie mix which the kids could cook for themselves at home. All they had to do was add butter, mix and bake.
I think this is a business I could easily go into! All credit to the chefs galore at The Park who came together to create and execute this extravaganza!!

The Ray turned four a few weeks later and we ended up having her party at home in the garden. There were about 30 kids with siblings, parents, grandparents, maids, drivers etc making the total number about 70 or 80 people in our garden. We had also invited all our neighbours to come down and have tea and cake and they were sweet enough to come!
I had prepared 5 different 'make and do' activities for the kids - they had to decorate their goody bag, make a silver shaker, make a door hanger for their bedrooms, make a mask and a hat. I had tonnes of foam shapes (Thank Goodness for Hobbycraft's and Woolworth's sales!!), I had cut all the templates out - which goes against the grain, but the thought of scissors out with this much chaos was too traumatic for me! The Ray's friends had to make and decorate all the items and make them personal. Glitter glue went splattering everywhere, stickers, bindis, tattoos and marker pens were wielded with devilish imprecision! Parents were very good and helped their kids with each activity and then laid them out to dry on the goody bags in one corner of the garden.
Foodwise - all home cooked - hummus with crudites, tomato pasta, jam sammies, raspberry jellies, cheese sarnies, cut out cookies in 'R's, hearts, planes, circles and starts (all the Ray's fave shapes!), mini cupcakes with Winnie the Pooh sugar decorations attached and all the homemade lemonade we could guzzle! Samosas with chutney added in for the adults and a picnic feast was prepared! I have to say that I made 85 jellies and I was left with 7. Not bad going kids!!
Well, I am now on a downward spiral until my birthday - but no biggie!

Biren had his in London in December - at the end of this year he hit a big milestone - so I guess we will be planning and baking and cooking again nearer that time! My Dad turns 70 this year too (in Nov) so another big one coming up!

Now I am trying to sort out an amicable resolution to issues at The Ray's school - she was blissfully happy there until the last few days - she is learning tonnes there. the teachers are fantastic and their curriculum has evolved and developed over the years since Nikh went there into something really worthwhile. I am sure it will all work out in the end!

Meanwhile - my new year's resolution is to write a monthly newsletter about my family and try and get something on the blog everyday - boring though it might be!

Diwali Drama

2008-11-20T21:37:00.010+05:30

I know I have been an absolute slug for the past few weeks and have not posted anything at all - but there are good reasons for that.

It all started the week before Diwali when I went out for lunch and dinner on the Monday, I had a ladies lunch at my house on the Tuesday (potluck) and then proceeded to go out to lunch or dinner every single day for the rest of the week. By Thursday night (1am) my stomach was in full blown revolt - cramps that were worse than contractions (I kid you not!!) were just the start. I thought I was having a heart attack - the pain from below my waist, such as it is, that shot up to my chest and radiated to my arms, neck and back. I was totally doubled over. Then came the next wave of misery - dash, dash, dash every few minutes to the bathroom. I thought I should just spend the night sitting up on the loo, but the cramps threatened to knock me off in a most undignified manner!
Now not to put too fine a point on it, I thought this was the worst of my agony - boy was I mistaken. I remember morning sickness (actually all day sickness for 7 out of 9 months, in both pregnancies) and I do not remember it fondly. Let me say that this was a million billion times worse. My whole being was retching and wretched! I do not recall EVER being this sick. Finally - My Darling, who was lying in bed observing my chronic behaviour but unable to do a damn thing asks if he should call a doctor, or take me to the hospital!
I refuse on both counts as it is now nearly 4am and I am hoping that as all my insides are now outside, there is nothing left but peace and calm. Wrong again! Incredible what the body can dredge up to chuck out when it knows you can't stop it!

My Darling watches me collapse onto the sofa (which is curiously more comfortable than my bed) and sits with his laptop to cancel our flights to Bangalore. We were going there for the Diwali break, and to see M-in-law who is pretty poorly in her own right. Also, my parents and The Angel (my sister) were flying in from London for 5-6 days to spend Diwali together as an entire family for the first time in 17 years. However - they were all in Bangalore and the four of us were in Chennai.

Nikh was furious and frustrated at having to wait and The Ray just thought we had the days mixed up. The Doctor (Rhea's paediatrician) is a Godsend. She prescribed stuff over the phone, told me what else to buy in case of various eventualities coming to fruition while in Bangalore and generally made it possible for me to fly after 48 hours. I can honestly say that I have never taken so much Imodium for such a length of time, in my life. I resented the fact that I was with my parents and The Angel, and could eat nothing but curd rice (bletch!!) and drink nothing but soda water. Plain water made me gag - my best mate left me some Propel before she went to the other side of the World, and I think this helped but it is all gone now! It took another two weeks before my ribs (yes they do exist) stopped aching every time I coughed or laughed. It was even longer before I ate anything but curd rice (bletch!) and I lost nearly 3kg. So there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

So after going through hell and barely making it out the other side, we came back to Chennai to find that PYT has been knocked down by an auto as she went to visit her sister in the hospital. She was damaged quite badly but still struggled into work knowing we were coming back. The Cook had barely made it to work. "Rain makes road bad, madam" was the reason for trudging in at 11.45 or 2.30pm day after day. More than that, she fell asleep on the bus on the way home one night and some kindly soul lifted her cell phone from her fingers! So late everyday and incommunicado - when she walked in (IF she walked in) it was a happy surprise!!! Everyday a new excuse for not coming on time - a lorry broke down in front of the bus, a man fell out of the bus, there was a riot and she threw up in fear and had to go to the nearest hospital for an IV, there was traffic, road bad madam .... need I go on?

She cooks delicious food, or she would be long gone! Both the Cook and PYT want to move in with us, but my servants' quarters are sparse and used as my junk store. Their bathroom consists of a commode and a large tap. They manage, but I am not sure I want them here 24hrs a day. So PYT has not come to work since the 3rd week of October and the Cook comes for a couple of hours every afternoon.

This means I clean, launder, iron, shop and cook - yes I know I used to do this all day everyday back when I lived in the real world, but you would be shocked at how much time is taken with purifying and preparing fruit and veg here. Even the eggs have to be purified in their shells. Anything that comes into the house from the shops needs to be rinsed with dettol/water so that if anyone drinks straight from a bottle or a can they don't get some deadly disease from rat/cat/dog/cow/cockroach etc urine or droppings which may have been deposited in the open 'go-downs' (equivalent of a warehouse - but an open air sort of a basement).

Cooking is not a joy - I have 3 gas rings that work, sort of. One electric ring that doesn't work at all. One electric oven that is defunct. I have a table top oven that holds one cookie tray or one lasagna pan at a time, but only heats in one back corner, so I spend my time rotating the food every 7 minutes! I have a microwave that chooses when it works and when it rests. Mostly it rests!! So Nigella, if you can smile and gush about the 'intense earthiness of the turmeric' while cooking and purifying in my kitchen ... I'll eat my hat!!

So my dramas finally subside. The Ray picks up the baton and sprints with it. Temperatures nearing 105, a burning body, a throat so sore, tonsils so swollen she could not utter a single word (let alone swallow water or meds) and had to simply suffer in silence. A terrifying croupy, hacky cough which led to a continual vomit, and a listlessness so unlike my little determined, hot tempered dynamo that I considered taking her to the Emergency room. Believe me - here where IV's are as common as having a drink of water, where operations happen for the most inane conditions and where the children are not particularly treated as equal beings - the situation had to be pretty dire for me to even consider going to the hospital.

A good week later, her temps came down to 102 / 103. But this was a vast improvement so we thanked whichever God was watching over her and prayed for more help. A few days later, she started to recover, but she has lost a lot of weight and her appetite. I am trying to cajole her to eat ice cream, apples, bananas, watermelon, papaya etc - anything just so she eats!

Finally today we are all healthy and eating well. PYT comes back to work tomorrow and the Cook has been getting here at 10.30. I am still ironing, but not as much. I am still shopping but not as much! I am trying to clean the house - again ... but am not really inspired!

Oh well, need to check my Facebook page, check my email and write to a few good friends!

Life goes on!

A couple of weeks ago ...

2008-10-18T00:11:00.005+05:30

I had one of the busiest weeks in ages! We had to 'puja' the cars (all three!), the oven, the microwave, the fridges (both), the cooker, the TVs (all but My Darling's pride and joy - woe betide anyone who tries to puja - or anything else - that piece of equipment!!!) etc etc. You get the picture. Any piece of equipment (big or small) that is used as a tool in our lives needed to be blessed in order for it to work efficiently in the future and to take away any bad vibes of the past and present. This involves buying puffed rice, Indian sweets, banana leaves, small, pale green watermelony pumpkins, more Indian sweets, a lemon to place under each tyre of each car, some white pieces from a larger block of a substance that catches light easily and burns in a big bright flame! we also needed flower garlands for each car, leaves etc for the front of the house and tonnes of turmeric, sandal paste and kumkum (the red powder).

We successfully finished the puja, then came Madras Kids (all the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey....). Finished singing and dancing, raced home, quick lunch and back to a friends house to start the Double Decker Club - a small pilot prog for a club for Brit kids in order to help them learn about British history, geog, culture and way of life. It went fairly well, but the age range is 2-12 and the kids all did their best but The Ray and her little friend disappeared to play princess dress up as soon as they could! Traditional jam sarnies and lemon squash were the snack of the day and went down extremely well!

Home again for a quick shower and change and off to the Apparao Galleries in Nungambakkam for the launch of a book that Nikh, The Ray and I were a part of by recording voices for the characters. It turned out to be one of this company's other books (a spectacular Very Hungry Caterpillar with the most incredible tactile illustrations and braille lettering). We did get the CD of our recording and are still waiting for the book. What a great experience - a blog for another day!!

then race home, another shower, new clothes and My Darling and I are off to the Park for the General Manager's pre-Diwali party. The ambience was amazing. All the downstairs banquet rooms had been draped with white shimmery fabric and lit up to look like we were in the ice hotel in Sweden. There was a big bar in the middle of the reception room with tonnes of crushed ice and bottles staked into the ice. The next room had three serving bars, one with olives and other nibbles, one with Japanese food, one with Italian food and the other side of the olive buffet was the dessert display. Home made truffles, chocolate horns of plenty, cakes, mousses and all manner of exotic, enticing sweet stuff.

My issue was with all the guests who showed up late, acted as though all the people who came relatively on time were the ones at fault and then they proceeded to dig into the dessert before some of us had managed to even try one olive!

the music was loud but good and the service as always was excellent.

All in all a lovely day, but as soon as we came home, I fell asleep in the chair! Zzzzzzzz!

Roll on Halloween, Diwali and all the craziness that goes with both of these!

catching up

2008-10-16T20:07:00.004+05:30

I have been so very busy that I do not even have time to sit down and write! On the one hand that is definitely a good thing as too much time on my hands turns me into a really moany, graony old woman!! My Darling really, really does not want that!! Neither does anyone else who comes into contact with me...

On the other hand it is not such a good thing as I spend less and less time in the house - things very quickly go to pot and then stress/tension ensues as My Darling (not so much at these times!!) yells at me because the house is a tip, and then I in turn yell louder at the staff for slacking off for days at a time and turning the house into a pit!!

Questions to the two young women, who are supposed to clean the house, make the shopping lists, cook the meals, squeeze some fresh juice, cut some fresh fruit, play with The Ray (a bit) and do the ironing month on month, result in odd smiles, awkward silences and sideways looks at each other. When I ask what they have done for a whole day when The Ray was out with me they have no answer, but the fact that one of them has coconut oil and cucumber pulp in her hair and the other one has a new complicated, intricate mehendhi design on both hands almost up to the elbow speaks volumes!! It speaks to me of people NOT doing what they are supposed to, but doing what they want to do on MY time!! Their cell phones are always ringing, and they seem unable to ignore a ringing phone. Whenever I go looking for them, one or both are always on the phone or in the bathroom - how many times can a person go to the loo in a day - I ask you????!!!!

Well, after a bout of yelling the house is always really gleaming for about a week and then we start the whole cycle again! Do you think this is part of the expat cycle?!!

over the next few blogs, I am going to attempt to catch up with my last couple of weeks. Wish me luck!

However, last weekend was one of those increbible ones where almost every minute of everyday was .... see next post!!

An Expat Centre - a life-saver!

2008-09-22T14:55:00.004+05:30

I know I said I was going to take some time off after the hectic stresses and activities of the past year, but clearly the saying about old dogs and new tricks is true! I clearly have no self control and am a slave to my imagination!

I am helping to set up and organise an expat centre here in Chennai. It will have events, activities, workshops and sessions based on Indian dance, cuisine, art, craft etc etc etc. It is like a blank canvass and I get to help write on it! Exciting!!

I think the expats living here in Chennai, whether they took a relocation package or not, love to find out more about the culture, religion, festivals and way of life of the host nation. This centre (the Indian Immersion Centre - IIC) is going to be so central to this. Any expat that wants to find out more about the gods and goddesses, or myths and legends of India can sign on to an event or activity that covers that. If there is someone who wants to find out where to buy their netlon, the best broadband supplier etc or just where to get multi grain bread can simply call or email the IIC and get the answer relatively quickly!

Wow! When I think of the days and weeks I spent simply asking everyone I knew about things or driving around to find what I needed. this IIC will be the one stop shop for everything an expat in Chennai could possibly want!

One of the nicest things about helping set up such a stimulating new venture is working with people who are full of inspiration, who like to brainstorm and that feeling of mutual respect just cannot be beaten!!

I am off to try and talk to as many people as I know to get them to join the IIC as it will be one of the best things they ever do!

And another one gone....

2008-09-13T00:43:00.002+05:30

Yep - another driver bites the dust!

The Slug (as he shall be known) started on Monday and lasted until yesterday evening.

Slug took the job knowing where we live, the times, the expectations and the salary. He started on Monday morning, struck me as a bit slow in moving etc and drove with only one had on the wheel - the other was on his leg. He objected to wearing a seat belt and clearly was not impressed with the music we played!

He obviously did not understand more than seven words of English. Unfortunately the seven words he did understand were nothing to do with driving and directions! However I must say that when the guys from the office brought another driver over for test-driving, the Slug found enough words to interrogate me about the man - who he was, if he was a good driver, was he getting a job, when was he going to work, which car would he drive, oh and by the way, can he have Rs 500 as his daughter has conveniently ended up in hospital at the same time as he asked for Rs100 for the bus each day and was refused. I think he thought the sympathy card may work ... little does he know that once you have learnt the hard way about being taken for the loan ride, you have a heart of stone! Also - most bus rides here are between Rs2 and Rs4 per journey. This does not equate to Rs 100 per day ... max Rs8. but once they start trying to get cash out of you it is never -ending!

The final straw for me was watching him constantly sticking his pinky up one or other nostril and digging away for goodness only knows what. I shudder as I write! Revolting!

Since his departure, I have disinfected every surface of the car and all door handles! Luckily he was too much of a slug to bring any of the kids' paraphernalia up from the car so we are saved a ceremonial burning!

Uncle Sam is the new guy. So far so good .... but it has only been 3 hours! Who knows?!!

Old Habits ...

2008-09-13T00:35:00.002+05:30

I swear, I need a keeper!! Just as I think I have come to my senses and dropped every responsibility I have, I jump in with both feet to several MEGA activities and all without the blink of an eyelid!

Read Around the World for the elementary kids at AISC - I have visions of massive maps and facts and rewards and t-shirts and tote bags or book bags etc etc. I have NO idea how I am going to manage all this, but I am on the slippery slope and have to slalom down as slowly as possible!

There's the Double Decker Club - gung ho with planning for that as the first meeting is planned for Sept 27th ... not far away at all! Again - t-shirts, folders, totes, badges etc.

Then the President of the OWC managed to collar me and asked if I would just help a bit. I agreed and then she told me that it was with sponsorship for the Ball, ticket sales, helping organise Halloween arts and crafts, sorting out the Trick or Treat and starting off the planning for the Santa Brunch. Did the fool in the pink tank say NO.... duh!! I am now eyeball deep in trying to plan and coordinate all the above and the main point here is that my Darling comes back to Chennai early Sunday morning. Then he needs full on attention for a few days!

I guess the old habits of volunteering and not being able to say no die hard!

2008-09-11T20:12:00.003+05:30

So a couple of days of freedom have passed. I am coming to the conclusion that I am a workaholic! Okay, so I don't get paid, I don't have an office and actually I don't even have a job! But I obviously NEED to keep myself occupied.

I have bitten my nails, eaten chocolate, baked cookies, brownies and cakes, invited a couple of people over and gone out more this week than in the last month! Clearly I cannot just sit still and do nothing! I watched the television for about an hour and then gave up the fight and switched the boring noise off! I went for a walk, cleared out my cupboard, sorted old shoes out, read books with Rhea, wrote a letter and made umpteen lists about nothing!

So when a friend called me and said come over for a cuppa - I went hours earlier than she had said and caught her making pom-poms with her girls! she tolerated my interruption and we talked about a new club for kids. We talked about teaching our kids about British culture, history and life. We brainstormed, googled, searched and smiled. We talked, watched a James Bond clip and smiled wider! Eventually I left her and went to finish errands, but I was stimulated, smiling and starting to make the Double Decker's a success.

I had a brief flash of inspiration months ago that we should get the kids in the elementary school Read Around the World. I dreamt of a massive map of the world and kids pictures on thumb tacks moving across this flat globe! I imagined passports, visa stamps, factoid sheets, quiz questions and little treasure prizes. A Forever Friend got as excited as I was and offered to help. She left. I am still going to do this - it just seems a little much at the moment.

I think I will start with making the map and see how far I get!

Ladies Who Lunch

2008-09-09T20:47:00.003+05:30

I found out today that handing over the baton of voluntary PTA leadership comes with a massive amount of relief, reluctance and rejoicing!

Relief because a massive amount of time suddenly becomes free and not tied up with meetings, minutes, newsletters and a couple of nightmare people.
Relief because I don't need to meet deadlines anymore, I don't need to feel frustrated at the nightmares (during the day and the night!) that I could not eject, reject or suppress.

Reluctance because it was a pleasure organising and creating and working with such wonderful teachers and parents (except for the couple of nightmares!!) and students.
Reluctance because I have pride in the position and know I can do more with it (without the nightmares involved) and would have perhaps, maybe, possibly liked to do another year and continue with the plan.

Rejoicing because I had made it my mission to try and involve as many people as I could and to try and make the PTA seem more like a massive fun factory (than a clique-y group of snotty women out to exclude the rest), and I think I managed that as every position on the new committee had a volunteer stepping up who thought they can easily do the job - many of them new parents. I was so happy.
Rejoicing also because my days are my own, the thought of constantly bearing the responsibility of selling stuff, planning stuff, organising stuff, posting stuff, saying stuff, buffering against stuff, is exhausting and now it is lifted.

So instead, a select group took me out for lunch to celebrate my liberation and to share in all the emotions that come along with watching a friend who has suffered and succeeded and suffered and succeeded. Thank God for good friends.

We decided today that being Ladies who Lunch was clearly the way to go. It may end up being the weight that doesn't go, and the cash that flows, but it would be so much fun!

I told my Darling that he should be careful what he wished for - he wanted me to quit being anywhere near the nightmares (both kinds) and to think more of myself and no-one else. I told him that now I was FREE, I could go out all the time and sit in his office with him the rest of the time. Even from Chicago (on skype) his face drained of colour as the reality of what he has insisted I do hit him HARD!!!

Nikh and The Ray have suffered over the past year - neglect, absence, impatience, irritation ... each time I was knee deep in yet another project or newsletter they were brushed aside. Each time the nightmares grew more vitriolic and virulent they suffered the fallout of my frustration.

NO MORE!

My family comes first - the nightmares can no longer reach me (I am sorry I ever let them) and my friends are still supportive.

A wise woman told me not to listen to the two unfounded critical, malicious voices full of spite, but instead to absorb and surround myself with the compliments and caring, the boost and the enthusiasm of the many positive voices around me. I have finally taken note and begun to practice this preaching.

So let a new day begin .... I am a blank canvass ready to take on new and exciting projects, to create and nurture, to educate and learn.

I am also free for lunch!

There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch!

2008-09-06T20:26:00.004+05:30

When you get invited by the Head (Gorgeous) Chef of a fantastic 5 star hotel to sample their new menu and have a Thai buffet lunch on the house, you don't say no! You assume that the only catch is that you will have to give some feedback after you knock a lot of food back and I guess that is okay!

However, the nightmare started when we were onto Thai lamb chops on a raw mango spicy salad with the most incredible attack on my taste buds for a long long time! Mr Gorgeous Head Chef was sitting with us as we ate to gauge our reactions. I took the opportunity to gobble a fair amount of food while he was talking to My Darling and shovelled a huge forkful of (what I thought was) mango salad into my mouth in an attempt to finish my food while they were gabbing! Imagine the shock around the table as I bit down HARD and then squealed loudly in PAIN! I heard and felt a crack and realised that I had bitten into something definitely not soft and tender mango! All eyes are firmly on me as I delicately fish around to try and find the offensive hard bit of something in my mouth! It turns out to be a piece of lamb chop bone and goodness it was like a stone! Popping to the ladies room to investigate the extent of the damage revealed that I had cracked the tooth and it was now wobbling alarmingly!

I chose to eat nothing more, Mr Head Chef was now mortified and hugely apologetic and My Darling just had a smug smirk on his face as he ate what looked like an incredible pudding!!!

We went home, but the pain was so intense I had to go to the dentist for emergency treatment. Imagine how much confidence you have in a dentist (supposedly the best in Chennai - certainly the most expensive!) who removes the cracked part of the tooth sans anaesthesia, tells you it is a rooted tooth, and when you scream in pain tells you that perhaps an x-ray might be in order. The x-ray reveals it is a live tooth - no root canal, but she can't save it NOW - already pulled part of it off. So my options are - root canal and crown or ... root canal and crown.

This means 4 appointments minimum, count how many injections and mind numbing that is and 25000 (yep 25 thousand - not a couple of extra zeroes in there by mistake!) rupees.

So I am almost permanently with a swollen rubber lip, my ear and one nostril are also numb so every meeting I have had with the Head of School or the Principals to try and close out my year as PTA President have involved holding a Kleenex up against one side of my mouth in case I am drooling down my feeling-less chin and don't realise it! Not funny!

okay one last thing and I will try to stop going on about this - during the last appointment when I insisted that I could still feel stuff in the tooth that was supposed to be dead, she stuck what felt like a 10 foot iron pole down into the tooth after drilling the temporary filling off (again with no local) and when I practically jumped out of my seat, thought about the magic of x-ray vision again. On closer inspection of the black and white picture, she realised that she had left a part of the nerve intact. "It is only 2-3mm" she said. "Not much at all".

I beg to differ. 2-3mm on a lamp-post is not much at all. on an 8mm tooth it is flippin' equivalent to a mile and a half!!!

Now we come to the good bit - she finishes finally completing the root canal and then fills the tooth having inserted some sort of metal posts to help hold the crown in place later. In the process, she snips my lip with her secateurs and explains that she was too busy giving all her concentration to the tooth to see where she rested the scissors and that is why she clipped me. I feel MUCH better now!!

Okay - wait for it ... none of that was the best bit! Once the filling and posts etc are all done, I noticed a peculiar smell in the room - out of the corner of my eye I spotted a small tin oil lamp with a big wick sticking out of the top. Curious now I openly stare at the nurse frantically searching for something - yep, you guessed it ... matches. Still sinking into a semi shocked coma, I barely managed to ask what they were doing (also I had a suction tube, her mirror, 259 soggy cotton balls and another metal instrument in my mouth as well as 14 or 15 fingers belonging to various dental personnel!). She blithely tells me they are sterilising and heating a tool that will help set the filling material and remove air pockets. I told her in my no uncertain slurred tone that she was not putting anything in my mouth that has been resting in a fire - red hot pokers sprang to mind and the branding of cattle on the old westerns was the immediate image!!

When I asked her what they do in every other country in the World as I have never ever ever ever seen a red hot poker being used in ANY dental surgery before, she laughed and said that she would have to do some research on that. "Open wide!"

Well, I'm back there again next week for a two and a half hour appointment and then a final (hopefully) appointment for the crown fitting.

Moral of the story, my friend, is that I now know there is truly no such thing as a free lunch!

Another One Bites the Dust

2008-08-26T01:28:00.003+05:30

Living in Chennai brings its share of the good and the bad!

Today was a definite showing of the 'bad'!

It wasn't enough that I chipped a tooth at a free lunch on Saturday - ended up at the dentist (shriek with horror!) for emergency treatment on Sat evening and have four further lengthy appointments for a subsequent root canal and crown. Clearly there is no such thing as a free lunch as this one is costing in the region of 25K rupees!

It wasn't enough that The Ray woke up with a hacking cough and could not go to school - (please God not another long winded cold!).

It wasn't enough that one of the household maids, PYT didn't show until I tracked, no make that hunted, her down and then I had to drop The Ray off to the dad's office!

The final straw was that we decided to terminate the driver. He was in a foul mood on the way back from Nikh's school and the clincher was that he deliberately spun our car sideways into an autorick that was not moving fast enough for him.

Okay - I understand the frustration of driving here - it is an activity you only undertake if you can zone out and go with the flow. The minute you are in a hurry, think about the rules of the road or rights of way ... you are doomed to disaster and potential wreckage. I find that the main thing that bothers me when I drive is that people tend to drift sideways. The lines and markings on the road are merely decorations (not even polite requests!) and disregarded by everyone - bikes, scooters, bullock carts, buses, autos and cars, vans, coaches etc etc etc. If it is a remotely plausible mode of transport, it will be on the Chennai roads and it is your job to watch out not ANY of theirs!!

The driver is supposed to be used to this. The last one, Snake in the Grass, was verbally abusive (in Tamil, thank the Lord!) to anyone who dared cross his path. He was however half psycho, so had to be deleted! The present (sorry ex) driver, Abs, appeared amenable, honest and relatively calm. Unlike Snake in the Grass, Abs was not interested in making small talk with Madam, partly because the common language was Hindi and Madam is not the hottest Hindi speaker! My Hindi is passable (very easily passable!) and clearly Abs passed on speaking with me. But this morning showed a whole other side to the man. My darling husband, asked him to visit him at work HQ on his bike, not our now auto-yellow stained car, and removed him from our environment. I must say he seemed genuinely apologetic and regretful, and the past 8 months have been relatively stress free, but this crazy attack on the snoozy auto driver does not bode well.

On top of this (there is more? - you may ask!) the new cook (2 weeks old) is driving Madam nuts. the pace of a snail and the intellect of a flea. The attention and memory of an ant and the will to learn of ...well... nothing. She has no will to learn. As a teacher and a relatively intelligent human, this lack of wanting to do my best and get something out of every experince is simply unfathomable to me. PYT is getting English lessons (at her request and my finance), she has asked for cooking lessons and remembers watching me make a dish and can virtually recreate it. Downside - I need her for The Ray. Kitchen duty is not her main priority - but it may become such!

Callous though it sounds, Madam had decided to keep her on while interviewing and scouting out a replacement. Terrible! But necessary! I am sick of spending my day, first shopping - no Tesco, M & S and Walmart here, 5 different shops just for the basics of milk, bread, fruit, veg and store cupboard or pantry items. Secondly coming home, purifying all the fruit and veg, cleaning and disinfecting all the other items and storing them and only then (a good half a day later), being able to cook anything. Add in drop off for Nikh and The Ray, pick up mid morning for The Ray, trying to actually meet people and stimulate a modicum of brain activity at OWC, IWA or some other such situation, and you find another entire day has whizzed by and you didn't even make the dinner!

Well, ever onward - all enquiries for a position in Madam's household can be forwarded forthwith!

Moving to Chennai

2008-08-26T01:12:00.000+05:30

Chennai Help (may 2008)
I thought I would start blogging about my life in Chennai. I came here for 3 months, to settle my husband into an apartment, before returning to my 'normal' life in London.That was 7 years ago!We have experienced an earthquake, numerous power cuts, a tsunami, cyclones, monsoon rains, heatwaves and much much more.Over the next few blogs I am planning to talk a little about surviving in a city that has a culture, a language, a daily routine, a lifestyle and a climate completely alien to me.My three year old son (7 years ago) has been to 4 different schools in that time and I have had a baby here in Chennai.
It is do-able!
Sejal

Long Goodbyes

2008-08-23T04:12:00.002+05:30

I guess it is fair to say that I am a pretty sensitive, emotions-on-the-surface kind of girl! I have been dreading today for the last couple of weeks, but until yesterday I could pretend it wasn't going to happen. I have however managed to keep the tears to myself!

One of my Forever Friends left Chennai today. I can safely say that as much as I say I am not going to go all out and become close to people anymore - there is always someone who slips past the resolution and becomes special.

I would have loved to throw a massive farewell for her - but I know how very much she would have hated that! So a small select ladies lunch was the way to go! It eased the separation anxiety a little - distracted me as I thought of little gifts and little things that would be easy to carry on the plane and at the same time remind her of me, her other good friends and Chennai (in a positive light) every time she saw or wore these things.

On the whole, I think she had a good time - at least the table was not full of weeping women!

She and I spent time together at the salon today and even managed to get a tattoo done before she left!

I hate the way other people think that they can talk about us, hurt us and malign us and expect none of this to snake its way back to us. I hate that she left feeling betrayed and I wish there was more I could do for her. She stayed strong for me over the past year when I have had some pretty trying times, even when she had stones cast at her for being my friend. I guess right now I am sort of, in a tiny way, there to support her through the trauma of taking her family and moving onto a new horizon.

I comfort myself with the knowledge that she will not let it all end here, neither will I. Sometime, somewhere, in the not too distant future, we will be having a pedicure together and disturbing all the other clients with our singing!!

Forever Friends

2008-08-20T01:53:00.007+05:30

I can't help but feel a real sense of loss when a friend (especially the forever kind) chooses to, or has to, leave Chennai. I feel a part of me is going with her and leaving a gaping hole behind. I have been getting better at the whole 'goodbye' thing, but realised today that I am simply fooling myself. This 'goodbye' thing is damn hard. It does not get easier, it does not help to start distancing oneself from the person leaving and it does not help to think of life in Chennai without that friend.

The word 'friend' seems so pallid for what I feel for some of these girls and usually their kids. The depth of feeling that comes with making friends that will last a lifetime (forever friends) is more than merely friendship. It is kinship, shared views, thoughts and feelings, it is a shared sense of humour, a shared Cosmo on a low, low day and just someone to say - yep you did OK. My darling hubby is not always there for this - try as he might - working long hours, travelling long days and weeks, and finally reaching home to find a wife in need of emotional sustenance may just be too much to handle!

I am grateful that the few forever friends made in Chennai are still in close contact with me, are still trying to find ways for us to see each other and are still reciprocally tolerant of the rantings of a sometimes madly emotional woman! I thank God each day for the blessings I have - my husband and kids, my parents, my sister and these wonderful, wonderful forever friends. As long as these people are in my life - I can handle anything.

back to blogging!

2008-08-20T01:36:00.003+05:30

So back into the full swing of thing! The holidays are a mere scent of a memory and my life here in Chennai is rushing headlong ahead.
The monsoon rains are pelting down, as I write, in a steady thrum and the constant flashes of lightning and crashes of thunder are vaguely threatening. I can't help but think of those so much less fortunate than I - sitting out in the cold, pouring water, drenched to the skin and shivering. I am here in the warmth, feeling dry and secure. Until you have got soaked to your skin, and felt the sheer power of a monsoon downpour, you can have no idea what this means. The first year I was in Chennai, I helped to organise a Trick or Treat for Halloween. Parents drove their kids from house to house in their cars, drivers waited, and the kids jumped out, collected treats and jumped back into the cars! I thought this was shocking, until at 6pm (start of the event) I was standing at the end of the road directing cars and handing out maps and felt the first of a million, gazillion huge raindrops start to fall on my head.
FJ (a then, newly-made forever friend), sent her driver to give me an umbrella and I had an old Wimbledon plastic poncho in my car. Nikh was safe in FJ's house with her and her kids, handing out treats. I was under attack - tipping down rain, thunder and lightning. Within minutes, I was soaked through to my underwear, couldn't see for the sheer curtain of rain streaming down past my face and I started shivering. Who knew that the water directly from the heavens would be flipping freezing! Temps 10 mins before had been about 34C and suddenly I felt as though I had stuck my body in a freezer for an hour! Unbelievable!

I was struck by Mother Nature's power - like a woman on PMT with a loaded gun, she was firing wildly! I recall thinking then that we need to appease her, we need to do something to change the way her fury is unleashed with ever more force, ever more aggression and with more frequency. She seems to be letting us know that whatever we try and do to her planet - she can do sooo much more!

gratitude!

2008-05-30T13:14:00.001+05:30

I have come to the conclusion that there are the 'doers' and the 'talkers'. It has taken a lot of time and moaning and groaning about how no-one ever steps up to help and it is always the same people doing the work, to get to this realisation!

Let me explain a little more fully. Since I came to Chennai (way back when!!) I found the easiest way to meet people and to get information of a variety of things was to join different clubs and groups, get on the committees and help out where I could. I find organising things relatively easy, have tonnes of energy and am quite creative, so all of that helps when events or ideas are thrown in your lap, and you are expected to run with them. It is hard for someone like me to let things go without giving it a good try, but also not to do things to the best of my ability.

Take the Chennai Chapter for example. A few new parents at the school were asking about information on Chennai - not exciting, interesting information, but bog basic stuff like - where to wax your legs, where to buy good apples, where to get furniture that has been termite treated!! etc etc. Someone suggested adding a section to the New Parent Booklet that I wrote a few years ago and include a local directory of information - by or parents, for our parents. So I grab the ball and start jogging with it. I put out notices in the PTA newsletter and ask for volunteers. I set up a meeting and fully expect one or maybe two other people to show.

Instead - 7 mums show up, I get emails from people answering questions placed in the newsletter and people start leaving information with the school secretary for me. Amazing.

As the weeks progressed, a few new people joined the group and someone had to drop out. My point is, though, that each of these ladies is just as busy, if not busier with their own lives, but they have simply given of themselves. Over the last several weeks, we have tackled topics together and gone off and added information. Each person in this group has really pulled their weight and in some cases more than their fair share.

These girls are the 'doers'.

People who criticise their efforts, never step up to help, but have lots of negative opinions and comments to pass on are clearly the 'talkers'. they talk a good game, but when it comes down to it, they will only DO something if they see something in it for themselves.

More power to girls like the Chennai Chapter Committee at the AISC!!! I love them - they are the greatest! And I am eternally grateful that I didn't have to do this on my own!!

Sejal
Fri May 30th

Fun Day

2008-05-29T00:46:00.000+05:30

Today was what I would call another day in the life of an expat wife! We are having a few people over for dinner tomorrow night, and as we have no cook at the moment the Head Chef in the house is yours truly.

So menu set, shopping mostly done, schedule duly laid out - I decide to make Tiramisu as one of the desserts. Note to self - sponge fingers are not available in the shops here, Amma Naana had no marscapone and the Nilgiris fresh cream (single at best) seemed to have a distinct set of hard bits in the packet!!

Undeterred, I went home, baked a cake for the Tiramisu base, decided to use the last of the chef's supplied double cream in my freezer and set a couple of kilos of chicken out to defrost.

Now comes the good bit - I meet two good friends at the Salon for a little mani-pedi action and plan a lunch for straight after. In the meantime, a journalist for The times of India paper has called to say they are running a column about various clubs and groups in the city and would I answer some questions on The Tiffin Club.

The pedicure was divine - fabulous massage and my feet feel like the proverbial baby's bum! A warm chicken salad and the requisite french fries made for a lunch that hit the spot and then the journalist showed.

She had questions galore and as my friend Danie and I answered, I realised how much I have done with the Club over the last few years. We started listing off some of the Tiffin sessions including Chef Willi cooking at 601 in The Park, Chef Rajesh showing us Mediterranean food at Aqua, Chef Basu clearing up the mysteries of Chaat (Indian street food), the chefs at the Marriott - Chef Sunil and his pastries and then a Lebanese session, Chef Prakash with soups and salads and then an Italian session and a trip to the Taj Flight Kitchen where the meals are prepped for many different airlines.

On alternate months we have had Tiffin Club at each others' homes. For example, i did a baking session this year, last year I showed some Indian dishes and talked about the Indian spices used in cooking. We had a Valentine's Day Tiffin with a 'Red' theme and we all brought dishes with red ingredients! Each December the Tiffin is a cookie exchange and one comes away with 10 -12 dozen different cookies ... scrummy!!

The best part about the Tiffin Club is the every member and the Chefs all share their recipes with each other. Those closely guarded secrets suddenly become common property! I love it!

Well, after talking for a good 40 mins, our journalist disappears to cover another story and we go back to our now cold french fries!! Meena, my other mate in the mood for some salon, joins us looking ultra glam as her hair has been cut and styled to within an inch of it's life! She clearly looked and felt great - to a man the men in the Cappuccino could not take their eyes off the back of her head! I swear one nearly did himself an injury trying to stare at her!!

Then off to school in time for pick-up and finally taking Nikhil to an audition for the soundtrack for a story-tape on Karadi Tales! Yep - just an average day living in Chennai!!

Came home around 6pm, finished making the chicken curry, channa masala and prepped the raita and the rice for tomorrow's dinner.

went to bed as usual, but woke up just past midnight as a power cut has obviously tripped the A/C in our bedroom - no more shut-eye for tonight!

Sejal
28th May 2008

Chennai Heat

2008-05-25T02:44:00.000+05:30

Saturday 24th May 2008
I love the sun. Don't get me wrong. My idea of a perfect holiday, no a perfect day, is a bright blue sky and a golden orb of fire blazing down upon everything, especially me.

Well, the Chennai Summer sun is something completely different - it is debilitatingly, unendingly, burningly hot. You take a breath, and you can feel the tiny airways in your lungs screaming for mercy from the firebreath you just took. On the first of May, the month of Fire begins. It does not end until the beginning of June. Even then, it is not really a respite, just more muggy humidity and more exhaustion and electricity overload. On that subject - power cuts are becoming more and more the norm rather than the exception. We have recently had a new a/c installed in the sitting room (B could not cope with the minute amounts of cool air from the old one!) However, no-one thought to tell us that the voltage coming into the house from the central Electricity Board was verging on 150 instead of 240 watts. Result - no a/c working, madam! this is even more frustrating as tempers run high in this sort of weather.

I think we should all take a lesson from the cows, bullocks and stray dogs in the Boat Club neighbourhood and simply plop down in the nearest bit of shade, and try a bit of shut-eye for the most part of the day. Moving, standing and even walking are left until the Big Ball of Fire in the Sky dips below the horizon!

Diwali Celebrations at School

2006-11-05T17:05:00.000+05:30

Hi Everyone,

Well, every year, the parents at Nikhil's school club together and sponsor and organise a Diwali Event which includes families feasting, dancing and fireworks!

The main part is the dancing - we had a live band playing, and the best part was that we had Germans, French, Japanese, Finnish, Dutch, Korean, Indian American - in fact 26 different nationalities are represented at the school and I am pretty sure most of them were on the floor doing garba and then dandiya raas!!! Awesome!

Nikhil and Rhea were dressed in Indian clothes just like Biren and I and both kids were really getting into the swing of things! In the photo above, Nikhil is with a Korean, an american and an Indian friend, and they have all just learnt how to do the indian dances! they were twirling and whirling around the school gymnasium with such enthusiasm - it was fantastic! Rhea was looking so cute with her belly sticking out and she kept spinning around and around and then loving falling on the floor in dizzy abandon!! Biren was thoroughly jet-lagged having just returned from the UK thatmorning and was trying so hard to keep his eyes open! A real angel for even coming there! I had helped organise the event along with a committee of mums, so was busy trying to make sure things went smoothly and everyone enjoyed themselves and keep an eye on my kids at the same time!!!

I hope Diwali went well for each and every one of you and maybe next year we will all be together.

Sejal
5th Nov 2006

2006-10-21T13:18:00.000+05:30

Well, it has been some time sice I posted anything, partly because we have been running around like headless chickens, and partly because we have been soooo busy with activities, both after school and at weekends, that I have no time to sit and think, let alone sit and write!

But here is an attempt at catching up with what we have been up to!

We have had several events at school - both Nikhil's and Rheas's. We had a Movie Night for the kids at Nikh's school which Ian's mum, Lisa and I organised. We had over 50 kids and some parents come. we showed a film, had some popcorn and lemonade and the kids sat and watched the film - for the most part!

At Rhea's school we had a visit from the farm animals and I will try and post a pic or two from that if I can - no promises - I am far too new at this ... can you tell! Rhea went ballistic - she loves animals and absolutely loved seeing the dogs, goats, cows, chickens, bunnies and riding on the horse. I was a mental and physical wreck by then end with checking nothing went in her mouth and she didn't get bitten, kicked or trampled!! No gym visits for me for a month!!

Then we had these huge diwali celebrations at AISC which were completely organised by parents of the school. Over 600 people attended and danced garbas, dandiya raas and ate a delicious north Indian meal while watching fireworks across the football pitch.

We had organised the most amazing dessert called roller ice-cream - the guys pour the ice cream and fruit mixture over an enormous roller made of ice and using their hands (gloved!!), they keep spreading the mixture into a thin layer until it freezes and then scrape it off the bottom of the roller (while it is still turning) into a bowl. Incredible! Absolutely delicious and so wierd to watch the liquid freeze in front of you! We are absolutely going to have that in school or at home again! I had two bowls. Would have had more, but a long queue was waiting most of the evening - I skipped the main meal for that!

Rhea and Nikhil joined int he dancing is a most enthusiastic manner. Nikhil was very graceful, getting into the beat and dancing both the garbas and the dandiyas with his friends without hesitation - fantastic!

Rhea was just an uninhibited whirlwind of energy - spinning uncontrollably around and around in her emerald green chania choli with her pale little tummy whizzing past until the dizziness got too much and she flopped onto the floor to recover for a moment. Then up and at it again!!!!

The photo at the top is of Nikhil with his friend Marisa - we went to her house to do some halloween baking - we made cookies in halloween shapes, decorated cupcakes like eyeballs and decorated a brownie in the shape of a ghost with lots of icing. The kids loved it. Rhea managed to sneak a whole cupcake without me seeing her - Marisa caught it on camera! I have never seen a child eat so fast!!!

Anyway, enough news for now, will write more soon.

Happy Diwali - wherever in the World you are. We are thinking of you.

Sejal

21st October 2006